Coffee Concerns

Welcome to Thinner Thursday! I’ve teamed up with Courtney at The Mommy Matters and together we are going to share the hosting duties to bring you the best weekly link-up that we possibly can. If you have yet to meet Courtney, go on over and introduce yourself. She is awesome gal and a great friend. You are going to love her. 

So please, join in. Grab the new button and the header. Link back here and read each other’s writing. Let’s encourage one another on to living healthier lives.

Last evening, I went out to coffee with two very special ladies. Both are members of my family and people whom I count as close friends. We talked about life, jobs, marriage, sex, and pregnancies – you know, the typical things that girlfriends talk about. Eventually though, my current weight-loss journey became the topic.

Here’s the thing. These girls know me. They’ve been in my life for as long as I’ve had a life. We’ve shared celebrations and they intimately know about my recent personal sorrows. But I was still honestly surprised when one of them voiced concerns about whether my current weight-loss journey is wholly healthy.

I sincerely appreciated that my friend was able to voice her concern. It is so easy for anything that involves the body to become dangerous and her unease proved to me that she really cares. But I want to make sure that no one else feels this way when they read about my progress.

I won’t lie. Shortly after experiencing two miscarriages, I refocused my attention onto weight loss and running. I understand how this can be concerning, especially if a shift in focus simply masks pain or replaces one obsession with another. I’ve mentioned trying to avoid obsessing over weight-loss before, but I think this struggle is not unique to me. I am trying so hard to make this journey be one route towards healing, instead of simply masking the pain.

In order to prevent this journey from turning into an obsession, I don’t weigh-in daily. I step on the scale only once a week. I usually think about my weight on the day before a weigh-in and the day of the weigh-in. Otherwise, it is pretty much off my mind. My weight looks pretty specific because I track with the Wii Fit, which gives me a digital reading. Last week, I gained weight instead of lost. But I also completed a race. Nothing, not even a gain on the scale, could take away how great I felt about my body last week.

I also refuse to deprive myself. In fact, I have started to really appreciate my body for all that it can do and for all that it can experience. I may have found the power within myself to resist a lot of temptations, but I also will indulge in a bit of caramel latte goodness when the opportunity arises, like it did last night.

Losing this weight and surpassing running goals has provided me with a huge source of joy and pride. So much of this year has been about how my body has failed me, so it is amazing to watch my body succeed so incredibly. My body is strong. My body is accomplished. My body looks great.

Participating in the weight-loss journey has shown me how to love my body and myself maybe for the first time ever. My body doesn’t look like it did back in high-school. But today, I am happier in this skin than I was then.

This journey is about more to me than loosing weight. It is about accomplishing goals. It is about trying new things. It is about becoming healthier inside and out. It is about loving myself. All of me.

I am trying to do this in the healthiest way I know how.

I hope you’ll keep me accountable to this.

Starting Weight (this time around): 151.5 lbs

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Don’t forget to head on over to Life with Baby Donut to read all about my freshman hi-jinks and how they helped me meet the love of my life!