There is just something about goals that keeps every Mommy going. The goal to have dinner made in the evening. The goal to clean the bathroom by the end of the week. Goals to teach children to use the potty or to transition from a crib. A goal to sleep through the night. During those hours that seem unending and the days that lead into days, we cling to these little accomplishments, assuring us that we are actually succeeding at something.
Somewhere deep inside, we have other goals too. Goals that keep us from falling into motherhood obscurity. Goals that focus on us as women, as individuals. Goals that are completely separate from these children whom we love so much. Personal goals. Dreams.
One of such goals for me is running. Two months ago I talked about how desperately I wanted to get out that door and pound my feet on the pavement. But with that desire came so much fear. Isn’t that how it always is with personal goals? We worry that maybe we won’t succeed. Maybe we don’t have it in us to be anything great. Just a Mom. Nothing special.
My running goals this year have been clear. And terrifying. One goal race. 10K on September 15th. Two races before. A 5K on August 19th and another 5K the night before my 10K. Less that three months to prepare. Just keep running.
Despite the fear, I started running. 30 seconds at first. Then one minute. Five minutes. Ten. Twenty. And on August 19th, after missing a week of training because of a stomach virus, and without having run a full 5K in training yet, I ran the 5K portion of the Navy 10K Race in Halifax.
I was scared. Again. Here I was, completely unprepared. After an awesome couple of months of training, I had dropped the ball the week before the race. I had not run in a week. I had not completed a full 5k yet. I wondered if I would be able to do it.
My goals for the race were simple. Run the whole time. Do it in under 35 minutes.
I knew my determination would help me attain the first goal. I was entirely unsure if I could reach my second.
But I started. Like almost every run since that first one, I laced up, took a deep breath, and ran for it. Past the fear. Past the insecurities. Kicking my own butt the whole way.
Sometimes it is important to just start and keep the finish line in sight. And then, focus on the steps. Nothing more. One foot in front of the other. Step by step. Moment by moment. Each run I make is fuelled by self talk, keeping me running for just one stride more.
Just a few more strides until you’ve hit your first kilometre!
Almost at the 10 minute mark!
If you can do half of it, you can do the whole thing!
Just past 30 minutes! That’s longer than you’ve run before! You’re already doing better than you did last time. Keep it up!
Slow down but don’t stop. A few big breaths and then…
Go! Giv’er! There’s the finish line!
34 minutes, 29 seconds
Those dreams we hide in our heart is what shapes us. We determine the outcome and the outcome transforms us. And by facing the fear one step at a time, we might just find ourselves reaching our goals.
Keep at it!
In my previous running post, I asked what you have been avoiding. Now I want to ask what you’ve accomplished in the past couple of months? What are you proud of achieving? And what is your next goal to tackle?
My 10K is in less than a month and my schedule has been so crazy that I have just gone another week barely running. I have 20 days until my goal race and 17 training days left in my 10K training plan. Looks like I’ll be running daily from this point on.
Race: Support the Troops Navy 10K, Halifax, Nova Scotia
Date: August 19, 2012
Distance: 5 km
Time: 34 minutes, 29 seconds
Personal Best: 30 minutes, 34 seconds (last year)
Pace: 6 minutes, 54 seconds per km
Place: 154/262
Yay, go you!!!
I’m kinda embarrassed to tell you that I’ve accomplished nothing. I’ve not gone out the door to run at. all. The little free time I do get (which is rare), I end up just wanting to chill out, which I did. The past couple of weeks, I haven’t been able to go child-free, so no gym, nothing.
They sound like a bunch of excuses, I know! I just haven’t been able to work this into my schedule. Sigh.
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Don’t be embarrassed. I am sure that there are other things you have done that you can be proud of – even if they aren’t exercise related. Sometimes we just can’t do more than we can do. Sometimes what we really need is to veg out. :)
Laura recently posted..Going Home
Way to go! I am so impressed on how you stuck with it :) You go girl!
Natalie recently posted..Lately…
Thanks Natalie! It is SO hard to stick with it. Especially now when I’m trying to train really fast for the 10K. Some days it just isn’t possible to get out.
Laura recently posted..Going Home
In the past couple months I have gotten a little better at not getting too distracted by the computer and at following some sort of routine. As far as goals, it’s sort of a family goal, but God has put on my heart to homeschool :o This is a huge undertaking and it’s more complicated since not everyone is on board, but the one step at a time has been to declutter and organize this house. And bit by bit it has been getting done, we did the shed first, and then I tackled our clothes. I continue to try to cut down the multitude of toys and rearranged things in the living room at least twice. The hardest thing is finding a place, the right place for everything. I keep changing things around trying ot find what works best. Last week I did a bit more organization in the kids room. We got my almost 3 yr old his own dresser so their drawers are no longer crammed full. Then after organizing the last of their things the kids and I decorated their room together, and I would call that 1 room fully decluttered. :D
Especially over the last few weeks/month I have also been doing better at organizing my life and our days, and at staying on track with our routine to get our table/activity/school time in. I’ve been teaching them letters and numbers etc in a tot-school fashion off an on for a while, but now I’m trying to do some every day.
Good for you! I think homeschooling is such an awesome option. And organizing is always a giant undertaking. Good for you for being so productive! :)
Laura recently posted..Going Home
I think with the last post, I was avoiding venturing out with both children… and I’ve done it quite a few times, now. It’s not easy juggling an infant and a preschooler, but it’s getting better, I’ll say that. It helps that my preschooler is hell-bent on getting that “Good Helper” title, so the positive reinforcement is a major reward for her. :)
What’s next? Exercise. My infant’s 3 months, and I have been slowly trying to exercise, but it’s NOT enough. Finding time seems to be the worst problem for me. If I do it when my preschooler’s home, I feel guilty I’m not spending time with her, because she’s not home so much with me, now… if I do it during the day, I feel guilty if the exercise happens when naptime might be waning and my infant might have to fend for herself for a few minutes while I wrap up. It’s the guilt at doing something for myself. Haven’t you written about this? ;) I just need a darn routine, Laura. How do I get a routine???
Routine is so important, isn’t it? As a parent, we soon realize how desperately our kids need routine, but it takes us a whole lot longer to realize how much we hold onto routine too. Like, I’m pretty sure I just figured that out this summer.
Don’t get yourself down over the guilt. We have to realize that most times, guilt isn’t actually based on us doing anything wrong. It is just lies we tell ourselves. You’re a great Mom! And great Moms deserve time to themselves too!
Laura recently posted..Going Home
Good for you! I’m glad you stuck with it and kept going! So proud of you!
Kimberly recently posted..Essence Of Now
Thank you. It is one of those things that I keep having to encourage myself to do over and over. Each day a new decision to do it.
Laura recently posted..Going Home
It always amazes me how easy it is for us (as mothers) to believe and support and encourage our children to do ANYTHING they want, but we always second guess and doubt ourselves. We push and push our children to be confident and dream big, but there’s always that bit of doubt about what WE can do. Hang in there mama! You’ve always rocked at getting your run on and I know that you’ll rock this one, too. Looking forward to reading all about it!
Courtney Kirkland recently posted..27 Week Bumpdate
You’re so right. We are encouraging and supportive to everyone. We want those we love to go out and do things fearlessly, and then we become crippled by our own fear.
Laura recently posted..Going Home
Way to go, Laura! Congratulations on not just having a goal, but sticking with it. You’re an inspiration!
Katie B. of HousewifeHowTos.com recently posted..How To Make Soft Scrubbing Cleanser
Thanks Katie! I’m still trying to stick with it. Never gets easier.
Laura recently posted..Going Home
How fantastic that you were able to overcome that fear and do so well.
I got into running similarly. I told myself that I didn’t have to go far, I didn’t have to go fast, but I had to go.
That was about 15 years ago.
In the years since, I had two children and 3 partial tears to my ACL. Running has become a victim of all of that, but more than anything, a victim of my own fear.
My greatest achievement in the last 3 (actually, 7) months is losing 30+ pounds, mostly through proper diet. My goal for the next 3 months is to overcome that fear and get back on the road.
Thank you for this post.
kootnygirl recently posted..timbits and patience
30+ lbs! That’s a huge accomplishment! Congratulations!
When you get back out to running, take it super slow and ease your body into it. Hopefully you’ll get into it again, if not, don’t beat yourself up. There are lots of other ways to exercise too! :) Just don’t let your fear get the best of you.
Laura recently posted..Going Home