Stronger, Together

My husband, Todd and I have been together 11 years. We just celebrated our seventh wedding anniversary.

Seven years.

That’s a long time nowadays and I’m a piece of work, so much of the credit goes to him. I’m moody, would rather avoid confrontation than sit down and discuss things like a rational adult; I have high standards and impossible expectations. And yet, for 7+ years my husband as put up with my shit, balances me out and pushes me ever so slightly to be better. We make a great team.

Seven years. And counting…

Notice I didn’t say seven blissful years or seven happy years. There have been moments of bliss and happiness, but there have also been moments of frustration, anger and immeasurable grief.

On our honeymoon we learned that my father-in-law needed open heart surgery to correct a valve that had been previously operated on many years prior. We didn’t know it at the time, but his health issues would set the tone for our marriage and how we handled challenges in the years that followed.

Two months after we were married, both my parents died. Todd was my rock, my safe place and the only one who truly knows what I personally endured during what was the hardest period of my life. Todd continues to help me keep the spirit of my parents alive as we tell our children about the grandparents they will never meet.

We welcomed our son, Lucas into the world in 2009 and have thoroughly enjoyed parenthood, albeit learning as we go. A year after Lucas was born we suffered our first of six miscarriages. For three and a half years we fought a heartbreaking battle with secondary infertility, each loss more devastating than the last. When I didn’t think I could endure any more fertility treatments, Todd would hold my hand and together we would decide to take a much needed break in between cycles and losses, only to move forward as a fierce united front when we were feeling stronger. We welcomed our daughter, Lola in January of this year.

To say our marriage has been tested and retested is an understatement but time and time again, after sharing each heartbreak and joy, I am certain that I chose the right partner for me to live this crazy life with. I fell in love and married the man I was supposed to make a home and create a family with and I believe that has made all the difference.
So much of what Todd and I have faced together we could have never known we’d encounter when we first met 11 years ago on a beach in Cabo San Lucas. Buoyant with hope, something clicked between us then and still does today. A mutual respect, wild attraction, and a reservoir of trust; together we bend with the challenges that are thrown our way but we don’t break. We only grow stronger in the process.