This week contained a rollercoaster of emotions for me. It was wonderful and frustrating all at the same time.
I had been looking forward to Monday October 19th for a very long time. This was my ultrasound date. I have yet to have an ultrasound, even though some people get one much earlier. I have heard my baby’s heart beat, I have felt my baby moving and kicking, but I had yet to see my baby and I was so excited. I filled my bladder and held it for the required hour before the scheduled appointment. I left work at lunch to head to the hospital to see my little one. When we finally found parking at got inside the hospital, I went to speak to the girl at the reception desk of the ultrasound area. I told her my name, and she looked confused. She didn’t have me for an appointment that day! She did tell me that many people were rescheduled due to a funeral and maybe I had been rescheduled. I had. For 3:10 the next day. This was more than 24 hours away! I was SO ready to see my baby. Plus, I already had to be away from work for a time. I went back to work dejected and disappointed.
Tuesday was less thrilling. I had already gotten my hopes up the previous day only to have them dashed. I was unwilling to put myself through this again. I went to work like it was any other day. I was busy, so I barely had time to think about the ultrasound. I almost didn’t remember to drink all that water in time. Dan picked me up and we drove to the hospital. At least this time I got past the reception desk. Now, it was starting to be real. Maybe I could start to get excited again.
A very sweet girl called my name and Dan and I were led into a hospital room. The lights were turned down low. It was a quiet, relaxing room with a bed and a chair beside it. When I laid myself on the bed, there was a computer screen on the wall that was directly in my line of sight. This was how Dan and I were going to see every single thing that the ultrasound technician saw. Once my tummy was exposed, a warm probe was placed on my stomach, and there was our perfect little baby.
The ultrasound was SO cool! I couldn’t believe how this machine could be used to see different levels. First, we saw the baby – a head, a belly, arms and legs. Then, we saw the skeleton. There was the skull with eye sockets. There were the arm bones and leg bones. And then, the ultrasound went deeper and looked at my little baby’s brain and kidneys and heart! It was amazing knowing that I have this perfect little human being inside of me. Sure, I have heard a heart beat at the doctor’s appointments. Sure, I’ve felt little flutters. But seeing the baby just made everything so real and so beautiful and so exciting. It is wonderful and weird all at the same time. Somehow there is a little human being inside of me that is part of me, and yet totally its own, beautiful person.
I’ve seen ultrasound pictures before. Maybe I’m biased, but I was blown away by how cute my baby is! I know, I couldn’t really see much. We could see the baby move and suck it’s fingers. But I couldn’t see all the intricate features that will make our baby unique from everyone else. The ultrasound technician did point out the baby’s lip, but this was pretty near impossible to decipher. Despite not being able to distinguish features, our precious baby looked so cute to me up there on the computer screen! I was so happy and proud.
The ultrasound dated me one day behind my original due date (March 2). I guess now my due date is technically March 3, but it is so close, that it really makes little difference.
Unfortunately, the IWK does not provide women with pictures of the ultrasound, nor do they reveal the baby’s gender. I do wish I had some pictures to share. For now, you’ll just have to take my word for it that my baby is friggen cute!
~Week 21 Day 1~
