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a blog by Laura O'Rourke

grace in the moment

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Refreshed

I find it very hard to leave my baby.  Okay, sure, I’ll leave him home with my husband for half an hour while I go to the drug store, but anything more than that and I have a very hard time.

Here’s the thing though – You might have heard me mentioning that in order to love my son to the best of my ability, I must love his father first and foremost.  And loving him means spending time with him.  And sometimes even spending time alone with him.

The hubs and I used to be really good at dating.  You should hear about our first date.  It was incredible (and clearly life changing).  Unfortunately, once you get married, dates start to get further and further between.  Add a newborn to the mix and you can pretty much kiss dating goodbye.

I have always liked going on dates.  They didn’t have to be super-fancy.  It was just important for me to get out of the house and spend some alone time together.  The “get out of the house” part and the “alone” part has become a problem.

The first time we had a date night was when Cameron was two months old.  Cameron’s grandfather did everything short of grab the baby and push off out the door to get us to spend time alone.  I left my son with a bottle of formula (first time he had anything but breast milk) in the hands of his grandparents while Dan and I went out to Boston Pizza for some appys, drinks, and the good ole hockey game.  It felt so good to be out alone with my husband, but I worried about my baby the entire time, and it felt so good to get him back into my arms.

When we got home to see our baby, we found Cameron as happy as he could be.  He didn’t even realize we were gone.

Fast-forward to this past weekend.  Remember how yesterday was my anniversary?  Well it was about time that Dan and I spend some alone time together.  For as much as I have been talking about how important it is to be a good and loving wife, I wasn’t feeling it, and I wasn’t doing a great job.  I was in a rut.

When my Aunt and Uncle offered to watch Cameron on Saturday night so that Dan and I could go on a date, I jumped on that opportunity.  We made reservations at a Japanese steakhouse down on the Halifax waterfront.  The special thing about this restaurant is that this is where we had our first date.  It was so appropriate that the next time we went back was on our first anniversary after we had a baby.

 Finally a reason to get all dressed up.
On our way to dinner, just a husband and wife.
July 10, 2010
Dinner was not only delicious but fun!  Have you ever had teppanyaki before?

(ahem… excuse the cleavage.  It is pretty unavoidable now that I’m nursing)
July 10, 2010
Hamachi Steakhouse Bar & Grill
We were only out for a few hours, but when we pulled up to my Aunt and Uncle’s house to pick up our dear son, we heard the crying before the front door even opened.  Apparently Cameron is no longer two months old and happy to be hanging out with just anyone.  According to my Aunt, the cry was less upset and more angry that we weren’t around.
Sorry to do this to you Cam, but your Mommy and Daddy needed this date.
I woke up this morning, the morning after our actual anniversary, and I felt refreshed.  We didn’t stop celebrating our anniversary on Saturday.  Yesterday, on our actual anniversary, we were still able to celebrate with Cameron.  We went out for dinner at a family restaurant and we exchanged cards.  Most importantly?  We actually spent time focusing on each other.  We focused on our love for one another and we focused on being close.
To everyone in relationships and marriages right now, whether you’re a parent or not (but especially if you’re a parent), take the time to refresh.  Take the time to be close and intimate and spend time together, as a family and alone.  Think about why you love the other person and then let them know.
You’ll be so glad you did… and you’ll be a better parent because of it.
Laura (@LauraORourke) is a photographer who lives in Halifax, Nova Scotia. A wife to Dan and a mother to Cameron, she spends her free time blogging and reading. Her blog finds its home at http://miraclesofamily.blogspot.com. Her photography can be found at http://www.olalaphotography.com.

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  1. I am so happy that you were able to get out for your anniversary!! You are so very right in saying that it is important to take time to refresh, and be together. Now having two kids, we find we need to do that even more often. It is so easy to let the million and one things you need to do with/for your kids take over your life and then you just end up feeling like all you are is a parent. It's so great for us to get a chance to feel like just Katie and Ben sometimes. We are strong advocates of dating your spouse! We try to get out at least twice a month, even if it's only to go for a coffee for a few hours or whatnot. Great post Laura!

    Also, so cool that you went to the Hamachi steakhouse! We walked by it yesterday and I was telling Ben how much I would love to check it out sometime.