I once read that you know you’re really in the third trimester when the prospect of delivering a baby is actually a desirable option*. As someone who freaked out during my first pregnancy when the Internet told me my baby was as big as a cantaloupe (20ish weeks) because I realized that this cantaloupe-sized thing in me had to come out somehow, and as someone who swore she would never give birth again after the gruelling experience the first time, to actually be looking forward to labour tells you a lot about how the third trimester feels.
Being pregnant is a beautiful, natural, incredible experience,… especially from a distance. It is also completely exhausting and physically exerting when you’re right in the middle of it (or at the end of it, as I find myself to be).
I don’t know why the third trimester feels so much tougher to get through than the first trimester. Maybe it is only a matter of perspective. Maybe it is that we just learn not to draw attention to pregnancies in the first trimester. Or maybe it is that my first trimesters have never been as tough as they could be. But I think the real reason is that in the first trimester, the fear of losing the pregnancy outweighs the symptoms. We are willing to go through it all with very little complaint because the alternative is not being pregnant. But by the time the third trimester arrives, the promise of a life realized, a little person contained in my very own arms, is so close, so attainable, so realistic already that it is hard to get through each additional day of pregnancy.
But should I feel guilty complaining? I have been blessed with the privilege of growing a child healthily inside of my body for thirty-seven weeks. This beautiful child of mine has been kicking and hiccuping and somersaulting and introducing himself** to me in such a secret and beautiful way. I am absolutely, completely grateful and in love with this child that I have yet to even see. I would never wish this pregnancy away.
And yet, the reality of this pregnancy is that my stretched skin is currently painful beyond belief. My belly is larger than it was the first time around and my skin has been stretched to its breaking point. I spend my days avoiding clothes and rubbing Vaseline on the burning, cracked skin. Beyond that, I am often hobbling around on a throbbing hip and my sleeps are interrupted hourly from pain. I typically cannot eat dinner because my acid reflux would have it back up in moments. As Cameron’s primary caregiver and the person at home during the day, I must admit to managing both my home and my son quite poorly. So, as much as I love the little life wrapped up in this pregnancy, as much as I desire this pregnancy to continue as long as is healthiest for my precious little baby, I am pretty tired of the whole thing.
How ungrateful that must sound. Especially as someone who wanted nothing more than to have a pregnancy continue this long. Especially as someone who has a number of dear friends who would do anything to be this close to having a(nother) baby.
Being a mother is such a wonderful experience because it is a role that so many people share. And yet, our experiences within motherhood are not all the same. We all have our own stories to share, and we can choose to allow those stories to connect us or to divide us. Part of my story to tell is that pregnancy, no matter how incredible and desired it is, is tough. It can be hard to get through. It can be so exhausting that the promise of waking up multiple times a night to nurse doesn’t even sound like a bad alternative. It can be so uncomfortable that the idea of spending hours contracting and pushing a much-larger-than-cantaloupe sized baby out of me doesn’t even sound too horrible.
I love pregnancy. And I loved it so much with Cameron’s pregnancy that I didn’t even know if I wanted it to end. But now that I have had the opportunity of sharing a life with one child, I so desperately want that again. I want this pregnancy to be over so that we can fit our new baby into our world. I want to meet this baby and see this baby and smell this baby. I want to introduce this baby to his Daddy and his big brother.
I totally and completely love what this pregnancy is bringing me. And I am so looking forward to it being over.
Photo taken yesterday,
one day shy of 37 weeks ***
*I might have read that in this book. Or maybe this one.
**or herself
***Funny story, this shirt isn’t a maternity shirt. Just a long stretchy shirt that actually covers my baby-belly better than almost any of my maternity shirts.
Can’t believe you are almost a mother of two! You totally have a right to “complain” but it really isn’t – it’s coupled with excitement and that is awesome! You look great and I can’t wait to see your newest addition!
I know! I can’t believe how close I am to being a mother of two! Maybe if it seemed real to me, I’d be a little more prepared!! :)
Laura recently posted..The Final Stretch
Goodness! You’re in the homestretch, which of course you’re tired of hearing. So, here, I’ll cushion that trite phrase with this statement: I am so insanely jealous. Nearly 32 weeks over here, and while I’m not quite as far along as you, I feel your exhaustion as though it were my own, and I feel my own belly stretching to its limits, already. Oh, and my nearly-4 year old is losing patience with my inability to tie my own shoes easily, play on the floor and then get up quickly, climb stairs without being winded, and go for as long as she can without a nap. She spoiled me, my eldest child, for what the end of pregnancy is truly like: I delivered her at 36 weeks, just as I was really getting uncomfortable. So, the prospect of going to 39 with this one? Scary, not for the delivery aspect, but for the comfort one-I just don’t even know if I can get that much bigger, and yet, I need to.
I feel like you’re singing my song, sister. I’ll keep reading as you weather this and reap the joyous reward, soon. Safe travels to your little unborn one and you, Mama. I’ll be here on the sidelines cheering you on and knowing that your date means mine’s all that much closer.
This is why I LOVE blogging. Because there are so many of us in the same boat, feeling the same way. Even though you’re not quite as far along as I am, you are totally justified in your feelings too. With my first, I only went a couple of days overdue and even that seemed like torture, but I am totally willing to stick this one out until 42 weeks if need be (although most people agree that won’t be happening.) I keep trying to tell myself now at 38 weeks that I have at least 4 weeks left, not 2.
Good luck as you continue on with your pregnancy parenting one already. It is exhausting! You’re a superhero!
Laura recently posted..The Final Stretch
I just got to that point (30 weeks) when I realized that this big and slow and uncomfortable feeling isn’t going to go away or get better…thankful that so far it’s been a great pregnancy, and other than some tiredness and usual achiness I have really nothing to complain about. All the best in these last weeks that can seem so long!
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That big and slow and uncomfortable feeling will go away and get better… but you’ll also be dealing with all the post-delivery stuff at that point… actually, now that I think about it, you’re right. I felt big for at least half a year after Cameron was born, I was slow for two weeks post-partum and I’m not quite sure when I started to feel comfortable in my own skin again. Oh well. That’s why Mothers are such superstars.
Laura recently posted..The Final Stretch
Wow, you really are all belly. Pregnancy is miraculous but I feel terrible the whole time I’m pregnant. I’d so much rather have a newborn and be up multiple times per night. I love having my stamina back and my body back – although of course it’s worth it, that doesn’t make those grueling third-trimester days less painful. You’re almost there; can’t wait to read about him or her soon!
When pregnant, I pretty much make a giant S shape. I’m all belly and butt! :) I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds the third trimester tough, despite the miraculousness of it all. Labour is so daunting that I think the third trimester needs to be uncomfortable so that we don’t dread labour more than we need to.
I hope everything is going well as a Mama of two now! :)
Laura recently posted..The Final Stretch
It won’t be long now…I know the last month of pregnancy seems to drag…not looking forward to when I hit that point!
Natalie recently posted..Wordless Wednesday-Water Spray Bottle Fun!
You’re in that blessed second trimester now, but the third is right around the corner. I can’t believe how fast things are progressing for you. For some reason in my mind you were stuck at 13 weeks, or whenever you announced on your blog. Amazingly, despite how this trimester is dragging, when the baby is here it will seem as though it all flew by, won’t it?
Laura recently posted..The Final Stretch
I absolutely get what you’re saying. I’m blessed to be pregnant and healthily so, but by god, 40 weeks is LONG. I’m at 34 weeks now and I just want the next 6 weeks (or so) to whiz by.
The aches and pains are truly difficult – couple that with looking after a toddler? Yup, I can see why you’re so ready for this baby :)
Good luck, not long now!
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Sleep. No Sleep. Sleep.
I love that I can commiserate with people who get it and who are going through the same thing. Aches, pains, looking after a toddler, keeping up a house, prepping for new baby… Just typing that makes me tired.
I hope the final trimester is whizzing by for you! :)
Laura recently posted..The Final Stretch
I cannot believe how close you are. The 3rd trimester is uncomfortable though–you can’t sleep, your skin hurts, your hips hurt, you have to pee every 10 minutes. I know you’re grateful but yes, you’re ready to just get that baby out too!
Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Life’s Lessons: I Need My Beauty Sleep
I’m pretty sure your comment just described my life: Blessed and uncomfortable! :)
Laura recently posted..The Final Stretch
I can’t wait to see the baby. Though you are going to be a mother of two children, you still look lovely as you. Good luck to your final stretch.
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So happy for you. Hope you deliver your baby well. After the final stretch.
Kyla recently posted..best athletes foot treatment
I felt the same way with my pregnancy with Noah. By the time the very end rolled around, I was so ridiculously miserable that I didn’t find “beauty” in any aspect of carrying a child. I wanted my baby. I was ready to meet my child and hold him and start life as a family of three. I don’t think that’s abnormal. I think every woman experiences that at some point. But I love that you keep it in perspective and realize what a blessing it is. :) You look beautiful!
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Thank you! I always wonder if I am alienating people by complaining too much. Pregnancy is tough – but I think it is important for all women to recognize that *all* parts of motherhood can be tough, in different ways – including trying to be a mother. Just because I am having a tough time doesn’t mean I don’t feel absolutely blessed! :)
Laura recently posted..How to Pack a Hospital Bag (with Free Printable!)
‘I think it is important for all women to recognize that *all* parts of motherhood can be tough, in different ways!’
Yes! I’m not quite in the same boat – but I went through it all well, about 4-5 months ago, so it’s still fresh in my mind. I remember thinknig, it will be so much better when baby is out and we get to meet him/her. And it was- for about 2 weeks. I had more energy than when I was pregnant and things were great. And then routine sleep deprivation set in… and well, here we are here! I see form your post today that you’re still waiting, eek! I will say a prayer that you will go really soon, tonight even!
Gillian recently posted..7 Quick Takes – Praying for Him, Baby Milestones and Movie Night Recap
As mothers, it is SO important to remember that! Seriously, motherhood could be the world’s tightest club. We have stories to share and support to offer. But more often than not, we compete over who is doing what better or how one person’s experience deserves to be pitied the most.
Dealing with a newborn is never easy. I remember how bad my sleep deprivation got between months 6 and 9. My heart goes out to you. I hope things will work out shortly so that you can feel more like yourself! Saying a prayer for you too!
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