“My day! You have no idea! One kid woke up from his nap in a worse mood than when he went down, another kid outright refused to nap, another one blew out his diaper, and another one refused to listen to me. And all of them were crying. At the same time!”
I had picked up my husband from work and was telling him about my day.
“All of them?” he asked. “How many kids do we have?”
“A lot. When they’re all crying, it feels like a lot.”
That sums motherhood up pretty well. A lot. This job feels like a lot. These kids are a lot to handle. No matter how many kids are running around the house, it feels like a lot.
I fill my day with exasperated statements. “These kids!” “This day!” The unsaid frustrations sit stale in the air following each thought. “…are driving me nuts!”; “…is too much to handle!”
And even though I am already dealing with a lot, I find myself wishing for more. More time. More rest. More quiet.
And then I read this:
Children are a gift from the Lord;
they are a reward from him .
Psalm 127:3
and this:
The sons of Obed-edom… were [names 8 children]. God had richly blessed Obed-edom.
1 Chronicles 26:5
Apparently children are a blessing. Who knew?
People who ache for lost children know that children are a blessing. People who don’t understand why their bodies won’t create or sustain babies to term know that children are a blessing. And every night, when I sneak into my children’s bedrooms and gaze at their sleeping faces, I know this too.
But in the middle of the parenting trenches, blessing is usually the last word on my mind.
How can my heart be so ungrateful? How, when these boys were so desired and prayed for?
This week, when I have felt my temper rising, when my patience has become non-existent, and when my tone of voice has reached unkind levels, I have reminded myself about how my boys are a blessing. And when I haven’t been able to shift my perspective because my anger is getting in my way, I’ve asked God to remind me. They bless my life, daily. And even when all of them are crying, they are still, always, a blessing. My gifts.
What have I learned this week? I have learned to be a better Mom. I have learned to love my boys better. I have learned to be thankful for my children, not just when they’re behaving, but in all circumstances. (1 Thes 5:16-18).
I love these kids. A lot.
oh goodness, this got me right in the heart! and I only have one! :) I’m currently sitting and holding my 17 month old while she sleeps… what a blessing. I’m praying that we mommies can hold onto these sweet moments in the midst of chaos. and currently, I want like, 5 kids. later today, I might be content with one ;) haha
It’s funny that you wrote about this today. I was actually thinking about the same exact thing earlier. I was whining to Josh about how tired I am and how much I really remember hating being pregnant the first time. Then a friend posted something on Facebook that hit me like a sack of bricks…and then you posted this…thank you for reminding me to be thankful and grateful no matter how “hard” things are sometimes.
Courtney recently posted..What’s in a Name?
I think this often. When I’m angry, tired, frustrated – I remind myself that my boys are a blessing. That many want children, just one, and can’t, I am blessed. Not to negate the feelings which are true at the time, but to remember that it’s not just that. It’s not just anger and frustration, it’s also joy and laughter.
Alison recently posted..A Force of His Own
Thank you for sharing your heart. I needed to be reminded of this.
We all do this! I have had these same thoughts…and I’m sure I definitely will again when I have more to my plate with baby #2. That photo is precious girl…thanks for sharing it and how you feel…it will make me feel sane when I’m there again!
Natalie recently posted..There Goes the Neighborhood
Laura, you put this so beautifully. Motherhood does feel like a lot so much of the time. I’m constantly reminded of how selfish I am. But yes, children are a blessing. Huge. I wouldn’t trade this for anything. But the days–sometimes they seem to last forever! All we can do is just take it moment by moment and continually ask for grace.
Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..TGIF: Getting Settled
I only have the 12 year old at home now that my oldest is off in college, and yet there are days when I feel exactly like this, too, Laura. In fact, when my kids were younger, I had SUCH a potty mouth when they’d gang up on me that they’d started picking up some of my naughtier words. So I switched to saying “GOD BLESS IT!” every time I got frustrated. Funny how not only did that let me vent my feelings, but it kind of helped diffuse the situation, too.
Katie B. of HousewifeHowTos.com recently posted..Cleaning Routine: The Pantry
Thank you for sharing with all of us! It’s so important to remember how much everything is a blessing yet it is a huge challenge during the busyness of daily life. I’m so appreciative of this community that shows me how I can incorporate more of Him into the busyness! God is so good and I heard this week that you can’t be angry, stressed, etc. when you’re being grateful/thankful and that has really stuck with me. I pray that you will have a wonderful week!
Mackenzie recently posted..Diving In