Oh, the stories my second child will have to share in therapy. Like how I never put shoes on him, even when we went out. Or how I did nothing for his first birthday. Or how he didn’t have a bed for a whole year. Or how I didn’t get him medical attention for the first year of his life.. apparently.
Don’t misunderstand me. I brought Gavin in for all of his time-sensitive checkups. I even took him to the doctor once when I thought he might have an ear infection or when a fever lasted much longer than it should have. But each time I was assured that he was fine.
When I take my babies in to the doctor out of concern, I worry that I won’t be taken seriously. There is a common myth that mothers are overzealous about their children’s health. And while this might be the case in those scary, first months of parenting, as time goes on, parents gain a unique understanding of their children that even doctors don’t have.
Despite not having a medical background, I’m an expert in my children and I believe that I am the best person to know what they need at any given time. Trips to the doctor became increasingly infrequent as my oldest grew and as we brought a second child into the mix. I could distinguish between colds, mild infections, and teething and medicated frequently with breastmilk and sparingly with infant acetaminophen and ibuprofen. I have even become wary of giving my children too much antibiotics out of fear of making them resistant, so I try to avoid medicating a minor infection.
But I digress.
When kids start daycare or playgroup or school, or really any new situation where kids are close and germs are shared, it is a sure thing that they will get sick. I stayed home day after day when Cameron first went into daycare because he was constantly sick.
This time around, I’ve stayed home with Gavin only once or twice. This isn’t because he is especially immune to gross kid germs, just that I don’t feel like I need to keep him home for every snotty nose or teething induced fever.
It is also possible that I am in denial.
On a recent Tuesday, I sent Gavin to daycare despite the fact that he had thrown up the night before. I blamed it on too much sugar and left it at that. He was lethargic in the morning, but otherwise fine, so off he went. On Wednesday our daycare provider told me that she suspected an ear infection, so I took him to the clinic that evening but still sent him to daycare the following day when the ear infection wasn’t bad enough to medicate.
By Thursday, my daycare provider insisted that I keep Gavin home on Friday.
“He woke up from nap with pink eye. He can’t come in tomorrow.” (Note: I so would have sent him to daycare the following day. He was given drops immediately upon the suspected pink eye and he showed no more signs the following day. But I did my due diligence and kept him away from the other kids).
Terrible parenting, or good intuition?
The night of the suspected pink eye outbreak, I took Gavin to the clinic for the second time that week. He was prescribed eye drops and antibiotics for the ear infection. As we were sitting at the pharmacy waiting for his prescriptions the pharmacist informed me that Gavin was not on our drug insurance plan.
Not insured? He’s been in our family for 14 months already! Surely this isn’t the first time we’ve needed to purchase medication for him?
It was.
By the time Cameron was one, he had been medicated for multiple ear infections, had a brush with Hand, foot and mouth disease, and had a reoccurring and still suspect rash – all of which resulted in doctor’s appointments. However, for Gavin, I can count the number of times I took him to the doctor for a medical issue on one hand – none of which resulted in medication until recently.
Was Cameron simply more sickly than Gavin? I don’t think so.
Am I just getting more adept at using Dr. Google? YES! Maybe.
Do I simply not care enough about my second child’s health? Absolutely not!
Gavin is a growing, healthy boy. He gets sick like any other kid, but I think I’ve reached a point in my parenting journey where I can realistically handle and comfort his illness without overreacting. When a trip to the doctor is warranted, then I take him to the doctor. When I think he’ll be better off with a few extra snuggles or fever-reducing meds, I follow my Mama-intuition and wait and watch, doing my best to make him comfortable and feel loved. I’m not always able to come up with a diagnoses, but I am pretty good and reacting to his symptoms accordingly.
Now, can someone please remind my husband to add our baby to the drug plan?
Do you call the doctor at every hint of illness, or do you hold off until things get really bad?
We rarely go to the doctor. We go for the scheduled well-check-ups and all that, but kids do get sick. With my first, he’ll rest until he’s over it and be more apt to need medicine (generally homeopathic); he is more likely to milk the situation too. He was more apt to get Tempra when he was teething (because Tylenol didn’t work right from the beginning).
My youngest rarely gets medicated for anything. I think you’re right; we have arrived to the point where not everything is a crisis.
Funny, my husband just said to me a few days ago, oh, we better add Scrumplet to our family insurance plan.
The boy is 13.5 months old.
He’s also been sick a few times with a couple of bouts of flu and recently, a viral infection that brought on high fever and no other symptoms. And he was mostly unmedicated (i.e. he toughed it out) for all his illnesses until he turned 1. Not because we don’t care, but our pediatrician reckoned that it wasn’t advisable to give babies that young, antibiotics, cough medicine etc. She was right, he toughed it out just fine. He did get nasal sprayed though, that wasn’t fun for anyone. :)
And just like you, I’m much better at figuring out whether the boys actually need to go to the doctor, or whether the oldest should stay home from school.
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We rarely go… unless it’s something that just won’t go away. Even then, we probably would have been fine not to go. Chelsea has only had antibiotics once and it’s still debatable if she should have. She didn’t even throw up until she was 3… hopefully she always stays this healthy!
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My youngest has had fewer infections and viruses than his older brother, so we have rarely gone to the doctor because of that. They both get asthma symptoms with viruses, though, so chances are if we go it is to check on that. I don’t wait and see when it comes to their asthma, but everything else, I give it some time before I go in.
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I think part of it is intuition, part is experience, and
part is that he may just not get sick as often as your oldest. All kids are different.
Jennifer recently posted..Dark Dawn
I now have three kids, and I have NEVER taken them to the doctor for anything other than check ups. It is not because I’m not concerned about their health, but they just haven’t been sick. Some colds, a flu once or twice, but no ear infections. The older two have both had some sort of eye infection a couple times (not pink eye, but gooey, mucus filled eyes). I treated with a squirt of breast milk when it was in season, and some warm raw cow’s milk and honey when I didn’t have that. Cleared it up within a day. I don’t take credit for their robustness, they just seem to come by it naturally. Eli had infant Tylenol once when he was 10 months old for a slight fever, but that’s the only time any of them have been medicated in any way. I’m just thankful for their good health and I hope it continues!
I hold off until things are bad. We usually only go for things that aren’t really a sickness but an injury or an occurrence like broken collarbones and allergic reactions. It is surprising how many ear infections actually DO go away on their own with rest, love, and some pain relief. Some kids are blessed to have no health concerns, some aren’t so fortunate. And I think its so true that we do gain a sense of confidence with the 2nd child that eases our minds and allows us to take a bit more control. In the same breath, I don’t think its a bad thing to make an appointment if you are worried because no two children are the same. As you said, a mothers instincts are usually right and if you’re worried, then there is probably a reason to be.
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I really admire your intuition and experience… maybe that comes with having more than one child? I certainly don’t rush to the pediatrician every time Lucas has a sniffle. I try to wait it out as long as I can, but when he is in serious pain, sometimes I’m at a loss and break down and call.
Dr. Google is the worst!!
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Oh my GAWD, I feel for you. But this is hilarious.
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I think it is a combination of intuition, experience, and the fact that he is a different kid. One of the biggest shockers to me is how different both of my kids are. Cady got sick WAY more than James did. It isn’t that she isn’t as healthy. Her immune system is just not as strong.
Jennifer recently posted..Dark Dawn
I can totally relate to this. K hasn’t even been in for her three-year “well check”. She’ll be 4 on Oct. 1. ;-) But she has had infections and we have been to the doctor in the last 9 months… And my oldest was the “sickest” as a baby/toddler and the only one to attend full-time day care. Huh. But, he also seems to have the strongest immune system these days, so there you have it!
My daughter has been on antibiotics once in her 2.5 years of life and it was just a few weeks ago for a double ear infection. She started daycare in April. Aside from her well-baby check ups, she had been to the doctor twice in her life. I don’t bring her in to the doctor for every sniffle or fever, but now that she is in daycare I will keep her home if she is sick. That’s just the ECE in me knowing that keeping sick children home is the responsible thing to do and it’s part of health regulations. I hated when children who were clearly ill would come to the centre. As a working mom, I totally get it, but I will still take a sick day or try to find alternate care if my daughter has a really bad cold or has any other weird symptoms (like the time she threw up once after supper, I kept her home the next day). Doctor, though? No. There’s nothing they can do for a cold or a stomach bug.
I can honestly say that I took my first child more often than my second. I think my intuition is better.
My mother hardly ever took me to the doctor. She was a real hippie in those days. She put wet sand from the beach on my chest with seaweed when I was having a asthma attack and garlic oil in my ear for ear infections. She still is very holistic and have tried those same remedies on my kids too. It worked ….along with good mother intuition, never hurts either.
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We Mommas are so in tune with our children that we know what they need when ill.
You are very lucky to have such healthy children with no continuous health conditions.
It still chokes me up once in a while when I have to give my little guy his nightly medication after his dinner.
He has been on medication since the young age of 6 weeks old… Soon to be 8 months.
With this said, I questioned- many many questions, concerning his medication.
I have yet to take him in to the doctor for anything other than wellness check-ups, and specialist appointment check-ups.
Already he has had 3 colds in his young life, all treated with lots of cuddles and the power of breastmilk.
One very healthy little baby :)
You are a normal mama. I am way more laid back now than I was with my first.
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I feel the same way about this…I really didn’t take Nolan that much and when I did everything just needed to run its course so with Conley I am really laid back with everyday illnesses. The first children definitely broke us in!
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