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a blog by Laura O'Rourke

grace in the moment

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Committed

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My husband and I dated for five years before getting engaged, but it wasn’t a timeframe or financial security or a baby on the way that finally sealed the deal. It was a house.

For me, the desire to be a homeowner came suddenly. I always figured we’d buy a house eventually but I had never been one to spend hours looking at listings or wander into open houses. I just, one day, decided I’d had enough of paying rent.

We didn’t spend hours perusing listings or go into many open houses once we had decided we were ready to buy a house, either. We requested a showing of one house that I can remember, and it didn’t overwhelm me. I don’t think we even looked at others, because right as we started looking for a house we discovered a new development in an area that was appealing to us.

I assumed I’d know “my” house when I walked into it, but in the end that wasn’t really the case.

The houses in the development were the cookie-cutter type, which is one of the things I loved about it. I loved the colourful siding. I loved the little porches. And I loved the idea of moving into something new that I didn’t have to renovate and for which I could pick out some of the details. Luckily, despite a willingness—and perhaps even a desire—to buy a fixer-upper, my husband wanted many of the same things in a house as I did. We looked at the floor plans and the available lots and visited the show home. It was then that I knew we’d found the right house.

So we took the plunge and planned for a life together – in more ways than one.

I never had any doubt that we’d end up married, but it took my husband a while to overcome his fear of marriage. This caused me no small amount of frustration, but, if I remember correctly, by the time we bought the house, watched as it was built, and turned the key in the door for the first time, I had pretty much stopped worrying about it.

And (as is often the way) that’s when it happened.

We moved into our new home in March 2003. In June, we went away for a weekend and my husband proposed on a small beach where the tide was coming in. Despite waiting, often impatiently, for him to pop the question, I was completely, totally surprised.

We had bought a house together, and for some reason that settled him. In more ways than one, we were committed.

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In front of the house on our wedding day

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Comments

  1. My husband was waffling on the marriage thing too. Although it wasn’t a house that moved him to commit, it was just me and sheer will, hah!

    Love that picture of you, gorgeous!
    Alison recently posted..Off He GoesMy Profile

  3. I love this story and how you talk about the house settling him. We did the same with the “I’m done paying rent” thing. Nothing will make you commit to buying a house more than cancelling your lease!
    Leigh Ann recently posted..ReadingMy Profile

  6. I can see how the commitment of marriage might be more in perspective after buying a house together – both such big steps. And after having successfully navigated one, the other must have been less daunting.
    Such a beautiful photo!

  7. Everything was clearly meant to be – the house, AND the marriage! I love how one day you just decided to buy a house and how something about the commitment to that house cause you and your husband to make a deeper commitment to each other. This is a lovely story!
    Ilene recently posted..Learning to FlyMy Profile

  8. As we were signing all the papers in the lawyer’s office last week, I realized how scary purchasing a house was. It is such a major financial and personal and legal investment that I was so glad to be committed for life to the person that I was buying the house with. I realized I would never be the type of person to purchase a house with someone whom I didn’t have that sort of relationship with. Clearly, your DH felt committed to you enough to buy a house – I’m glad it showed him that marriage wouldn’t be so scary after all!

    Thank you so much for bringing your words to my blog, Robin! This is such a lovely post!
    Laura O’Rourke recently posted..Writing HomeMy Profile

  10. I had no idea about this post before you came to our new home this weekend! That last house was Steve’s (grandma’s) I moved into with him, and we made lots of wonderful memories there, but this home you came to, is the first home I have purchased, and finally we feel like it is our home together. So glad we could share it with you! x x

  11. This post made me smile. Such big and important steps in our lives. I know what you mean about not doubting that you would get married, but still waiting nonetheless. When I first started dating my husband we had been friends for man years. We knew right away that we would get married. But waiting was difficult and I was annoying. Eventually he took me ring shopping and bought a ring right in front of me. He didn’t propose for another six months.
    Stevie recently posted..Five Words You Need to KnowMy Profile

  12. Our first daughter is what compelled my husband to pop the question. I thought I was perfectly fine with being unmarried with a two month old living in a one bedroom apartment. But once he asked and I said yes and we started house hunting, then I realized thet ruth: it was what I wanted all along. Now I just wish we could make this house be what we want it to be and dreamed it coule be 11 years ago.
    Arnebya recently posted..TenMy Profile