Supported

There was a lot that I wasn’t sure of before I started my journey with Team and Training. Fundraising? Yeah, I wasn’t sure about that. At all. Running with people? Also intimidating. Coaches? Well, I think I have to elaborate here to tell you how I feel about that.

The best and worst thing about running with Team in Training is that I need to be accountable. Once signed up for a race, I’m accountable to myself. When fundraising, I’m accountable to my supporters. And while training with coaches, I am accountable to them. They make a training schedule and expect me to stick with it. They are the authority figures that I need to impress every Saturday during our group training sessions… (or maybe that’s just all my authority anxiety revealing itself).

This autumn has pretty much been the absolute worst for me as far as running is concerned. In October, the sick started and it lasted for six weeks. Between daycare, my kids, my husband, and I, we spread germs and diseases and infections like we were auditioning for some sick version of Survivor. And by “sick” I actually, literally mean “sick”. Colds and flus and pink eye and gout and strep throat, oh my! In fact, I’m still on my third round of antibiotics after the second did nothing to clear up a very persistent double ear infection. (And I won’t even talk about what happened last Saturday when I both broke a tooth and injured my foot… no really, let’s not talk about that. I haven’t told my coaches about my foot yet).

Needless to say, I’ve felt like I haven’t been living up to my commitments. In the midst of my personal illness, the last thing I felt like doing was going outside to push my body to its limit as the temperature dropped. And if I wasn’t sick, it was my kids and/or my husband, which actually made running impossible. When the kids needed to stay home from daycare and my husband didn’t have the strength to look after them, (or was travelling for work, which also happened during this time), there were actually no opportunities to train and run.

But, you see, explaining these things makes me feel… uncomfortable. It brings me right back to seventh grade, when my best friend and I would feign illnesses to get out of gym class. If we were convincing enough we wouldn’t be subjected to the judgemental change room, wouldn’t need to dodge projectiles balls to save our lives and our hair, and we wouldn’t be forced to make fools of ourselves by attempting to get specific balls in specific nets. If only we could just make up a good enough excuse, we could sit on the sidelines and talk.

So now my “excuses”, no matter how valid, make me feel like this seventh grade girl – a girl who has no idea of her own abilities and strengths, who won’t know for years and years. And I can’t help but feel like a quitter and a disappointment to those who are taking time out of their day to push me to greatness. I hate excuses.

But, the fact of the matter is, as a Mom to a one year old and a three-year old, there will excuses. Real, valid, honest to goodness excuses. I won’t be at GTS tomorrow morning because my three-year old has a Christmas concert rehearsal. That is a valid excuse. I chose not to go two weeks ago to have some much-needed family time as we readied our house for Christmas. When I missed previous to that it was because Dan’s gout was acting up and he didn’t think he’d be able to take care of the kids on his own that morning, and the time before that, my ear was pounding. All very good reasons for a woman who puts her family first.

But.

I still felt guilty. I still felt like I was disappointing people, especially my coaches. And guilt did not mix well with all that sick I was feeling.

Just like all of my other preconceptions about running with Team in Training, I shouldn’t have worried, or felt like a disappointment. Coaches aren’t provided to be a source of guilt. They’re a resource for encouragement and support and direction. I came to this discovery when one of my coaches, Allison, sent this little message to my inbox after I told her that I was missing another Group Training Session:

“Okay thanks for letting me know Laura! Get yourself better and don’t rush your running! We have another 16km coming up in two weeks so if you miss this one it’s not a big deal! Hope you are feeling better soon!” 

While Allison probably thought she was writing a simple response email, the impact of her words were so strong on me. All of a sudden, so much of my stress about running flew out the window. While Allison, and my other coaches, have been giving me the physical support I needed to run longer distances, this email gave me the mental support to let go of the guilt and the worry of disappointment and focus on what needed to be focussed on, which, at the time, was getting healthy. My coaches’ job is to get us to our goal race healthy and able, even with all of the extra life stuff that is bound to hit us along the way.

Had I been sick for multiple weeks in the midst of solo-training, I would surely have gotten discouraged and likely quit entirely. But I’m not doing this solo. I’m running with a support system. And excuses or not, they keep getting me closer and closer to my half marathon in Disney.

While I am lucky to have a support system around me, all I am doing is training for a race. In doing so, I am part of a support system for cancer patients. Through my training, and together with Team in Training, I am raising money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada. Right now, I want to ask YOU to be part of that support system. I will be running 21 kilometers on race day, and I want to offer up each of those kilometers for sponsorship. For $25, you can adopt me for a kilometer, and I will focus my heart on you while I am running that kilometer in Disney. If you want me to honour a loved one who passed away or is fighting or has beaten cancer, I will do that during your kilometer. If you want me to pray for a certain concern of yours (it does not need to be cancer-related), I will do that during that kilometer. If you just want to be part of this incredible support system around me and around people with cancer, then that’s okay too. You don’t need to give me a reason. But your kilometer will still be your kilometer. You can tweet me or send me a Facebook message during that kilometer to cheer me on, if you want.

To sponsor a kilometer, please sign up for your preferred kilometer using this form, and donate a minimum of $25 to my sponsorship page. I will email you once you have signed up, and at that point you can let me know if there is any person or issue you want me to focus on for that kilometer of my race. I will do my best to keep you appraised of race day and my progress on the race course.

Thank you for being my incredible support system during this training period, and for all the times before that too.

(PS – I’m expecting the medals from the virtual race any day now and will ship them as soon as I get them!)

As you know, I am training for the Walt Disney World Half Marathon in January 2014 with Team in Training. I am also raising money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society of Canada to fund blood cancer research and patient services here in Canada. Did you know that there are over 100,000 people living with or in remission from a blood cancer in Canada? If you have been thinking about starting running or need that push to keep you running, I whole heartedly recommend Team in Training. If you’re local, contact the Atlantic Chapter. If you’re anywhere else in Canada or the United States, find the chapter near you. If you have any questions or want me to help you get into contact with a representative at your chapter, let me know.

(All photos from this post courtesy of the Atlantic Chapter of Team in Training.)