“I bet you’d like to have a girl.”
I hear that a lot. Boy-moms hear that a lot. (I assume girl-moms hear the opposite, as if being a parent to only one gender is somehow not completely fulfilling, which is ludicrous, of course.) Strangely, at the centre of the comments that I usually hear, there is an even more superficial sentiment: “I bet you wish you had someone you could dress up in all those precious little girl-clothes.”
So, let me set the record straight. I have boys. I don’t feel like I am missing out. That statement stands, even when I’m in the clothing aisle.
I admit that I fear having a girl would make me feel even more inadequate as a mother because she wouldn’t be fashionable enough. When my oldest was a baby, I used to love dressing him up to look like a dapper little man, but as he grew and started to move and play and get messy, I stopped worrying about fashion and focused on function. My children want to be kids and I am proud to dress them in clothes that let them be kids. They can move freely in their clothes. They can get messy in their clothes. They wear jeans to daycare and church and Saturdays at home, unless they are really lucky when they get to wear “cozy pants”. (Don’t lie. Cozy-pant day is everyone’s favourite day). They have khakis and button-ups from grandparents and they wear them on particularly fancy days, though they will still be standing in Spiderman sneakers.
I get away with my kid-approved clothing choice because I raise boys. Society grants my sons a little more leeway to be rough around the edges. So no. I don’t miss the anxiety that comes with an expectation to raise fashionable daughters that I would undoubtedly feel.
Still, I am constantly calculating my children’s clothing collection. My four-year-old is officially at that age where he has outgrown the baby-shower clothes. With each growth spurt, I need to buy him a whole new wardrobe. That doesn’t even mention how quickly he goes through the clothes that do fit him. Especially jeans. Don’t even get me started on jeans. I find a new jean knee-hole every second week. Meanwhile, my son refuses to wear jeans with hole in them (can you blame him with this winter that we’re having?). We are officially in the habit of taking monthly trips to a second-hand store because we simply cannot afford the voracity at which my son ruins his jeans.
My youngest son is starting to grow into those previously wrecked clothes that his big brother used to wear, so we’re getting to the point where he is going to start needing a new wardrobe at every growth spurt too.
Children are expensive!
And still, despite buying new clothes every second week, I keep focusing on function over fashion. I find clothes that my kids will get excited to put on so that each morning isn’t a fight. I find clothes that will (hopefully) hold up to the rough and tumble attitude of my first-born and the try-to-keep-up attitude of my second. Jeans beget more jeans which beget more t-shirts and hoodies. But sometimes, just sometimes, I miss dressing my boys in dapper little outfits. Because we boy-moms have a secret: Dressing up little boys is actually really fun too.
Walmart recently invited me to purchase a spring outfit for at least one of my kids with a budget of $50 from the George Kids collection. Walmart knows that kids can be tough on clothes (tell me about it) so they emphasize stocking their shelves with quality apparel. They stand by their product so much that the George Kids Quality Guarantee means that if a child wears out a piece of clothing before he outgrows it, they’ll replace it (original receipt required).
My son literally wears out every pair of jeans he has before he outgrows them so this is a quality guarantee that I can get behind! You can be sure that I went straight to the big wall display of boy-jeans and I got Cameron a pair for $10. And I confess that after I got the function, I went for the fashion. Spring does mean Easter and I can’t wait for my little ones to head off to church in their little Easter ties. (Their first ties ever!). (The shirt and tie for Cameron was $14 and the suit for Gavin was $20).
Please tell me I’m not the only mother who has existential crises about my function vs fashion choices. Please tell me I’m not the only Mom sending her kid to daycare and church in kid-approved clothes that aren’t catwalk ready. Please tell me that it is okay for kids to be kids (which means holes in jeans and dirt on shirts).
Walmart sent me a $50 gift card to complete the #GeorgeKids challenge.
I never liked dressing my kids up like they were dolls either. Meghan used to try very hard when Simeon was very little, but the more he started to move around the more she saw the light of function as well.
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High-five! Yet another parenting choice we see eye-to-eye on. I’m so glad my kids can run around and be kids without me worrying about them ruining their nice clothes, because they don’t really WEAR nice clothes. I’m hoping it will keep both my anxiety at bay and keep them from developing anxiety.
Laura O’Rourke recently posted..Boy Clothes
I’m not a mom yet but hopefully will be soon and I’m hoping for a boy. I think all the little boy clothes are super cute and right now I only have nieces so it would be nice to add a little boy cousin to the mix :) That little suit is the cutest! I always loved dressing up for Easter mass as a kid and can’t wait to have a little one to dress up :)
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You are not alone! I think boys should be boys. My son always had his own thought about what he wants to wear and it’s definitely not cat-walk ready :) I’ve given up on telling him what to wear a long time ago…
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Definitely not alone! I used to dress our oldest like a little doll at times, but in time, he outgrew that. He’s not afraid to tell me what goes and what doesn’t. Ironically, the one color we thought he loved he now won’t wear at all! Function, and durability is what I look for now! Luckily, the oldest is easier on clothes than the youngest in my house!
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Guilty as charged! I do like dressing Baby Boy in fashionable clothing because I know he’ll hit that age where he’ll decide what he wants to wear. That said my toddler is quite vocal in what she wears and she’s striking a good balance between fashion and function…for now atleast! Hello Kitty Shirt with rain boots and a snow pants? Totally cool .. right?
as a mom of both I totally go for function. there is no passing on to the next kid when you not only have a girl first but the first grand baby and a mother in law who prefers fashion.. we had lots of cute little pink dresses bought for our daughter. which are pretty much useless as soon as they learn to crawl. I let my daughter choose her own style and while she does like a dress for church. she’d much rather be wearing something that lets her be ready to play in the mud
The thing about getting to dress little girls up however you want is that is only for a very limited time. Once they hit a certain age, girls become very particular about what they wear (like boys). One year Cady went through an “I’ll only wear dresses phase) and now she is going through an “I only want jeans that are plain and blue” phase. So much fun. Not.
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I also loved dressing my boy because his clothes were predictable – I am a ‘uniform’ lover, I guess (I have my own mom uniform, too!). Boy clothes are easy and comfortable, and jeans and a t-shirt can still look nice.
Girls are a little different. I dressed my girl in very girly clothes when she was small, but as she grew older and asserted her own style, it became apparent that she is no longer preferring girly stuff. And she also has her own uniform which includes many of the same elements that my boy’s wardrobe does.
Also: my kids wore a ton of clothes from Walmart when they were little – you can’t beat the prices, especially considering they’re just going to grow out of them next week!
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Yeah, I had grand plans to make sure my boys are fashionable – about 3 years ago, hah!
We’re the same here. The boys wear tees and shorts every day (because of our tropical weather), and they are clothes that no one minds trashing if they get trashed.
Fancy clothes just cost too much! Though we do have a stash of them for special occasions. Too bad we don’t have Walmart, those are cute!
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While I love buying clothes for my boys – maybe almost as much as I like buying new clothes for myself – we are totally function over fashion. We are jeans and tees and hoodies and cozy, comfy play clothes.
I remember the going through all the knees in the pants stage – my youngest doesn’t have a lot of wear left in some of the pairs he is inheriting either! :)
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I used to love to coordinate my boys when they were little. It was so much fun. Like for holidays, especially.
Girl clothes are fun too but much too complicated. And the accessories, OMG, don’t get me started!
Two little boys here as well. Clothes are a challenge. Like Cameron, my oldest is also very hard on his jeans. He manages to wear holes in the knees almost as quickly as I can buy him a new pair and it is always the same knee! He too refuses to wear them once you can see skin. I’m also finding the challenging part about having my boys 18 months apart is that my youngest grows into his older brother’s clothes without much time for a “forget” period. He refuses to wear some items because they are too fresh in his memory of them being his brother’s so he will not wear them because they are his brother’s. Despite explaining that his brother has outgrown them and now he gets to wear them, he still doesn’t go for it. Sigh.
I don’t have a kid just yet but I honestly wouldn’t mind if it’s a boy or a girl. Rather than worrying about the gender, I worry more on their health and overall well being. I get your sentiments in function over fashion. That makes sense if your kid is at home or somewhere near a playground or park getting dirty and untidy from playing but during church and daycare attendance, they should look their best. They should wear their best clothes whenever they go out even in a park, if they play hard then just bring along an extra pair of pants and shirt. I love dressing up kids, especially my niece so my answer is a bit biased. :)
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You are not alone. You are *never* alone. Hah! That’s the joy of parenting. *snorks* :D
Form follows function – or at least it should! Thing 1 & Thing 2 have been blessed to have a bazillion hand-me-downs from good friends through the years and the toughest clothes win!
Cute is as cute does and let’s face it, sometimes “cute” has to sit still in a corner and look, well, cute. *yawns*
I never wanted my daughter or son to ever feel like they couldn’t crawl, climb, jump, run and fly in the clothes they had on. So practicality wins over fashion every single time.
That being said, it is *really* fun to have somewhere special to go every now and then where a “fancy” something is the best choice. The little Easter outfits made me say “Squee!”. Very sweet!
But please don’t get cross when they get dirty or scuffed. ;) Life is way too short to be perpetually pristine!
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