I once loved winter. It used to be my favourite season. It contained my favourite holidays,Christmas and Valentine’s Day (otherwise known as my birthday). The crisp fallen snow on a lawn made everything look so peaceful and quiet and beautiful. And crunching in that snow for the very first time to create footprints made me feel brand new – an explorer walking where no one else had ever walked. I was creating something new on a pure white canvas with only the soles of my shoes. That’s one small step for a girl, one giant leap for her imagination. Winter meant warm sweaters and extra quilts and more nights with hot chocolate.
Becoming an adult ruins everything.
I have begrudgingly started to dislike winter as I’ve grown. Snow in university rarely meant a snow day and instead promised discomfort on my walking commute to class. Winter after my graduation meant walking through the city streets in cold and bad weather as snow days became essentially obsolete in this adult working life. Winter as an adult no longer made me feel all warm and cozy inside with the cost of heat constantly looming over me. Winter with a car meant emptying our pockets to put on the winter tires. It meant cleaning off our car and defrosting windshields on frigid mornings. It meant driving through dangerous conditions to get to daycare and to show up for the paycheque. And as of this year, our first year in our new house, it has meant all of that plus shovelling. All of that, plus broken furnaces and empty oil tanks.
The snow is all but gone outside. I’m hopeful that we won’t need to scrape the windshield again this season, let alone shovel. Still, I feel its heaviness. I feel the chill and the weight of snow on top of me, as if I’ve been laying on the cold, frozen ground all winter and have been erased by the snowfall, waiting for a thaw that does not come.
I’m struggling to find signs of spring.
There are flurries in the long term forecast. Temperatures hover around freezing, taunting with the promise of dropping. And I wonder why humans don’t simply hibernate for the cold months because I wouldn’t mind hiding under my covers until the temperatures stay above freezing for good.
I went out for a walk yesterday looking for signs of spring. Maybe the calendar was working against me. Yesterday was still winter. Today is transition. Tomorrow is spring. Blessed,wished-for spring.
The snow was gone but nothing else indicated spring’s imminence. No buds on trees. No shoots bursting through the ground. No birds chirping in the trees. No green anywhere. No colour.
Spring is coming. I know it is. The calendar says so. The radio says so. Logically, I know it to be so.
I don’t see any signs of it though. Not yet. But I promise, I’m looking.
We still have a solid 5 feet of snow here (probably) – banks are higher, plus snow storm today, but snow storm next week. I’m moving to Halifax!
That ‘but’ should have said ‘and’ or ‘plus’ but I apparently can’t type in the morning.
Ha! I figured it out. I am so very glad I don’t live in New Brunswick right now.
Laura O’Rourke recently posted..Searching for Spring
It can be harsh, heavy and unmoving, Winter.
I do hope that Spring comes soon, in every way for you, my friend.
Nothing I’d like better than to see you bloom! :)
Alison recently posted..Through The Lens Thursday #12: Door
Look at you bringing beautiful words right into my comment section. Thank you so much, dear friend. I want to bloom too.
Laura O’Rourke recently posted..Searching for Spring
We had to scrape the car this morning, unfortunately :( (“We” isn’t me though – haha). I totally agree – I never used to mind winter too much, and I think that young kids don’t mind it much either but it is a hassle when you are an adult/homeowner/parent and we had a particularly brutal one this year. Bring on spring!!!
Heather H recently posted..The mouse and the very lucky Brian behind this blog!
You had to scrape this morning? Holy! I don’t think we did (though I was the last one to the car).
Winter sucks!
Laura O’Rourke recently posted..Searching for Spring
I love, love, love the streetscape photo – it’s GORGEOUS. Like you, I love the spring, but here in Texas, it’s because I am a cold wimp and love the 70 and 80 degree weather the spring brings along, and we have the most beautiful wildflowers!
Kristin Shaw recently posted..I Surrender
This is beautifully expressed Laura. And I hope you get your spring soon!!!
Lady Jennie recently posted..Pommes d’Amour (Candy Apples)
It’s coming, I promise. It will be Spring before you know it. :) And if you really need to see it you can come here. I mean, how fun would that be? xo
Elaine A. recently posted..Oh, This Kid!
That would be SO fun!
What a lovely photo! We are so ready for spring and hope it gets here soon!
I don’t know how you do it up there. I would go nuts! I’m currently wearing shorts.
Leigh Ann recently posted..the single best thing we’ve done for our marriage (lately)
Oh, I’m wishing for spring for you! It should be warming up by now. It’s starting to here, or at least, tease us with it. And I completely agree…when you’re a kid, everybody takes care of everything for you, so all you have to do is enjoy the snow/cold then come back inside when you’re done. When you’re an adult, all of the added responsibilities just ruin it.
This winter has been long, hasn’t it? I find by this time of year I am not-so-patiently waiting for spring. But it is coming – my tulips are starting to come up in my little flower bed. Spring is coming.
Also, reading about how you would step out on the fresh snow made me remember how much I loved looking at my footprints in the snow when I was younger, too. :)
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..Layers
This winter has been brutal. Just think of me when you are missing spring. We still have like 4 or more feet of snow on the ground. Piles and piles of it everywhere. I am oh so *lucky* to live in the north. Note the sarcasm.
Brandy recently posted..Hockey Tournaments and Sleeping Arrangements
I love you and therefore I must insist with all the Peady Powers in my possession that you avoid any and all weather related news this week.
I, myself, have adopted the very effective (and oh-so-mature) “La la la! I Can’t hear you!” approach to meteorological sciences for the time being.
Oh look! Sunshine! That helps with the delusion! Yay!
Great post! Fear not.. the flowers will bloom – eventually – and a walk in the park will once again be, well, a walk in the park.
Peady recently posted..Let’s get our “buts” in check, so we can get our “butts” in gear!
I so know how you feel. This is only our 3rd year in a place with real winter but it’s been a long, hard one. I’m so ready for spring, and it was so close. Warm temps, snow melted… And then it went away and we’re back under the snow and out in the cold. It makes me feel bleak.
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