Cameron hasn’t been a Mama’s boy since Gavin was born. It probably started before that, if I’m being honest. He started favouriting his Dad when I went back to work after his maternity leave. But he’d still cycle back, keeping me as a viable option for favourite parent position. When I left work early before Gavin was born, it was Cameron and I again. We would spend our days snuggled on a recliner, him finding some tiny space to fit in around my extra-large belly.
When Gavin was born, things naturally changed. I had another baby to care for. I would nurse him often and Dan would pay special attention to Cameron so that he wouldn’t feel replaced. From that point on, Cameron became Dan’s special buddy. Once my arms became free again to snuggle my big boy, he didn’t seem to want them. He’d wiggle out of my grasp and run away to play. He grew away from his Mama too quickly.
Daily, it is Cameron who is my biggest challenge. I can understand Gavin’s nearly-two-year-old tantrums. His struggle to communicate is one I have learned to expect and one I am equipped to handle. But Cameron’s 4-year-old battle of wills is one I am not yet an expert at yet. I often wonder if he thinks I might love him less than I love his brother. I snap at him quicker and react to him harsher, because so far, it is the only parenting method that seems to elicit any type of positive response from him.
I have so much guilt about this. I love Cameron. He is my first-born. I want him to know that I love him. I want him to like being with me. I want to create good memories with him.
When the opportunity arose to attend Stars on Ice, I knew exactly who my date would be. Cameron loves a multitude of sports and he was enthralled with the Olympics. He knew who Patrick Chan was and he recognized Tessa and Scott. He could tell you his favourite figuring skating skill (if you can call jumping on your skates a “skill”. Cameron is easy to please). I may personally rank figure skating higher on my Olympic sport hierarchy list, but Cameron still knows how to appreciate it. And after attending Stars on Ice last year, I knew it would be a high energy show that Cameron would enjoy.
He talked about it all day before we went, at least if his daycare teacher is to believed. Cameron was excited (and I tried not to take his requests to go with Daddy instead personally). While it broke my heart to leave his (crying) younger brother at home, I was looking forward for some very important one-on-one time with my biggest boy.
It was a perfect night. Cameron held my hand during the entire half kilometre uphill walk from the parking garage to the Metro Centre. We talked. We talked the whole way. We talked about music and about how we missed his brother and his Daddy and about how cool the figure skating would be and about how many people were downtown and about why it was so hard to find parking. We waited in line to have our tickets scanned and we started to find our seats. Our excitement grew as we both saw the purple ice surface. Purple! (The ice colour would continue to be a discussion topic for the rest of the evening. It was awesome.)
As we experienced Stars on Ice together, I contemplated how nice it was to do something like this with a child. I didn’t have to worry about being too excited about something or not excited enough. I could genuinely get excited about stars I slightly swoon over or colourful ice or sparkly costumes. There wasn’t an ounce of self-consciousness, just pure enjoyment. And I have motherhood (and Cameron) to thank for that. I knew I couldn’t be a loser in front of my four-year-old.
Cam’s face was full of joy throughout the whole first half of the show. It was wonderful to see him so happy and for him to be be like that while doing something with me. We got up and danced. He clapped with me. He took his secret toy car that he apparently had smuggled in his pocket and pretended it was figure skating on the seat of his orange chair. We shared sweet pink cotton candy (his choice) and he rested his head on my shoulder during the last few slower numbers (which were understandably less exciting for a four year old, 2 hours past his bedtime).
As he sat on my lap during one of those slower dances, I looked down at him and he looked up at me and he smiled. It was a small, content, loving smile. It was a smile that comes naturally in the middle of snuggles between a parent and her young child. It was a smile I don’t see very often.
We walked back to the car a few minutes before 10pm. We held hands. We talked. We walked by Mommy’s office and Daddy’s office. He told me how he wanted to get home to hug Gavin and Daddy. I told him how proud I was of him, how good he had done that night. I told him I was really happy that we had a night out together.
“Me too, Mommy” he said.
**********
I am so grateful for Jergens who not only helped put on the Stars on Ice performance, but who also sent Cameron and I tickets to attend and give me a night I will never forget. They also sent me a gift basket full of Jergens Ultra Care Moisturizer, the new Jergens BB BODY Skin Cream in two shades, and from the Jergens Natural Glow line, the face moisturizer and 3 Days to Glow, in both variants. We’re no stranger to dry skin in this house and I already have the Ultra Care Moisturizer sitting by my bathroom sink to stop my hands from feeling like sandpaper. Since I’m anti-suntan, I’m looking forward to not being completely pasty-white this summer with Jergen’s Natural Glow Line.
I have the another gift basket ready to be sent to one of my readers! Enter in the Rafflecopter app below (Canadian residents only please). Good luck!
I wish I could have taken the kids to Stars on Ice – I’m glad to know your little guy liked it! Isn’t it nice to have some one-on-one time? I was sad reading about how C prefers his dad.. heart breaking.
Life of K recently posted..Mary’s Atlas: Mary Meets Ontario {Review and Giveaway}
I have some of the same feelings when ‘dealing’ with my first-born – he seems to only respond when I’m firmer, and I do feel guilty, because I don’t want him to think I favour his brother.
But, like you, I cherish one-on-one time with him, so I do make an effort. Glad you and Cameron got to connect over such a great event!
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Sigh.
I so related to this Laura. Gabe is so strong willed and I have struggled with our ever changing relationship since Addy’s birth, including the increddible amounts of momma-guilt that I feel almost everyday towards him.
Those one-on-one times that I have with him though? They are the best. And I am so SO glad that you got to experience that with Cam in such an unforgettable way!
xo
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I’m not a mom, but I love reading about your adventures with your little dudes! I’m glad you and Cameron had a lovely evening out!
I know exactly how that feels. I’m so glad you and Cameron had a chance to have a date night.
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It looks like you had fun! I do like figure skating — I even made it to the oval once this winter. Thanks for the giveaway!
Janelle @ Two Cups of Happy recently posted..currently | a positive start to 2014
I think the first-born/second-born struggle is eternal – no matter what the gender. We should give our first-borns special props for being parental guinea pigs :)
Glad you had that good time together (and I love watching Stars on Ice)
Kerstin @ Auer Life recently posted..Experience2014 – April Round-Up
So sweet. I’m glad y’all got to spend some momma/son time together. I bet he will remember that for a long time.
Jennifer recently posted..Teachers Change Lives
It sounds like such a wonderful night! Glad you and Cameron were able to sharing something special. Love Yoshi’s cameo in the photo. :)
I don’t get a lot of one-on-one alone time with my oldest these days. I think it is time we did something fun, just the two of us. I am going to plan something.
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..Wonder
I can attest to this not changing as they get older, the necessity of one-on-one time and how beneficial it is for both mom and child. I love spending time with each of mine alone, even though it’s not easy and doesn’t happen often. Even stolen moments at home in a separate room count. I’m glad your night went so well and yeah, the fickle four yr olds know not what they’re missing when they ask for daddy instead. Psh.
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I’m not a huge fan of figure skating but it is amazing to see what some of these skaters can do!
Aw… I love this. So happy you got to spend some QT with your first born. I am in the thick of this learning to be the mother to two right now with my first born feeling a little low. He doesn’t know it yet but I have a mother/son date night scheduled for later this week. (: It’s so important to give them each one-on-one mommy time.
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I enjoy figure skating, but have little time for watching since I had kids. Funny how that happens. ;-)
I don’t think there is any age that is harder to parent than any other age. Its all equally hard, equally frustrating, equally rewarding, just different. I have 5 boys (ages 4, 5, 6, 16 and 19) and each age has its blessings and its challenges.
I just went to see my 3 nieces in a skate recital and it was soooo fun to see them perform!!!
Yes I love figure skating! I always dreamt of becoming a figure skater when I was 9 but I guess that didn’t turn out! lol
I get you. And I get the FEELINGS that come hand in hand with having a “big” kid and a “baby.” This made me a little teary, sister.
Keely recently posted..A “Real” House.
My Mom and I are huge figure skating fans!
What a beautiful post Laura! So glad you got to have a special night out with Cameron :)
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Age 3 and love figure skating!
Been a fan of figure skating since the Calgary Olympics, watching the “Battle of the Brians”.
I really enjoy figure skating, esp. ice dancing and pairs.
Melt my cold heart! glad you guys had fun :D
the terrible two’s. I enjoy figure skating
Love figure-skating. When I was little my parents put me in a figure skating program and I can remember being a bunny in a show we put on for the parents. I was so excited that I could hop on the ice! I’m glad you had some one-on-one time with Cameron – so good for both of you.
I would have to say age 4 and YES i love figure skating :D
I love figure skating..that Tonya Harding incident still stands out in my mind…Poor Nancy…
I love to watch figure skating.
age 2-3
Yes, I like figure skating and thanks for the chance.
For me, Age 3 was the hardest to parent my son – he was so stubborn and strong-willed! But that was a long time ago…
I also like figure skating.
Cheers.
I love watching figure skating! Being from London, we love Scott and Tessa.
i enjoy the graceful skaters. the hardest years have been the teenage years
I love figure skating and so far I would have to say that 14 to 16 is the hardest age
Age 3 has been the hardest to parent but also the most my fun! My son says the funniest things but he is a ‘threenager’
I’m finding the wilfulness of the twos really hard to deal with – hoping it gets easier!
I *love* Figure Skating! It was so hard for me to be at home watching the tweets when I SO wanted to be there. I am thankful that you and a few other tweeps were sharing photos, though. That was fun!
I think every single age has its challenges, but I have always tried my best to breathe, dig deep and appreciate what these beautiful little Things have brought to my life.
That being said; no terrible twos, no trying threes, but the *flipping* fours were tough stuff!
**please insert your favourite expletive that starts with a similar – or you know, the same – letter. :>
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I remembered how badly you wanted to be there last year and felt so bad that you weren’t sitting right there beside me this year!
I am SO glad the two of you had that time together! It’s so important.
I took K to Disney on a Ice a few weeks ago and it was such fun to do as mother and daughter, just the two of us. Except at the end when she cried all the way to the car because I did not get her another expensive toy that she wanted there. That wasn’t so fun. ;) But otherwise, we had a great time and it was awesome to see the look on her face as she watched the skaters and I was pretty impressed too!
I found age 3 to be the hardest.
I love figure skating, I started watching it when I was a kid and kept on going haha
I like watching figure skating. It’s entertaining.
Yes,I do enjoy watchng figure skating.
I am not a mom yet but it is something that we are considering in the near future. I enjoy ice skating though I am not very good at it.
I’ve always loved watching figure skating. I’m taking my daughter to the show in Vancouver next week and we are really looking forward to it.
I am not a parent yet, and I haven’t been skating for many years.
I think all stages of parenting have their special challenges! I love watching figure skating.
So far the pre-teen years, 10-12 have been the hardest for me to parent.
I love watching figure skating
I took figure skating lessons as a child and enjoyed it every much.
Having gone through this, now with an almost 6 year old, I will say it seems it is always hardest with the oldest, and also that it does start to get better. As they get older and a bit more responsible I find it’s easier to connect with them on a more grown up level.
I’ve also learned some helpful tips for kids that give power struggles, if they fall into the strong willed category- which I know I do- that have really helped smooth a lot of it out when I follow them. I would be happy to share if you’re still finding things difficult- :)