I wasn’t planning on writing this. You should see my editorial calendar. It is full to the brim with upcoming posts, between the Writing Vows guest bloggers and those ambassadorship “need to write” posts. In fact, one of those posts was supposed to go live today, but between working full time, curating a guest post series, hosting a mother-in-law, and somehow injuring my right arm from carrying the two year old for too long, I decided that rest took priority to writing. This space was going to stay silent for at least a day, but then I found myself in the middle of a conversation with smart and eloquent blogger friends and I noticed that I had something to say. I felt the need to write that thing I needed to say. Because between everything in my life right now – between the parenting and the working and the need-to-writes, I’m not writing what’s on my heart anymore. I’m creating an editorial calendar and filling it in long before something sparks my passions and that leaves no room for the words that are bursting from my heart on a daily basis.
There is a lot going on in our world. A lot. I mean, there always is, and maybe I’m just more aware of it now or maybe social media is amplifying the resonance of each story or maybe our world is just getting worse by the second. And there are a lot of people who feel personally connected to these issues, no matter how far away from the physical conflict they are. From Ferguson to Israel and Gaza, to Ukraine, to ISIS, to an Ebola outbreak, to suicide, to a debate about abortion happening right in my hometown, people are hurting and watching injustices play out before their eyes. My friends are invested in these issues, and I focus on the news intently, praying for peace in a world that seems so full of hurt.
But I don’t speak up.
At least, I don’t broadcast my thoughts on these issues. My husband and I have talked about many of these issues. We’ve shared news and listened to podcasts together. We’ve discussed the complexities of the issues. But I do not move my thoughts from that personal conversation to the screen. Instead, I stick with what is on my editorial calendar, sharing the words about marriage from bloggers that I love and admire. (Because in the midst of all the turmoil in the world, people are still in the middle of marriages that feel very real and important and perhaps full of turmoil too).
My friends and I create content online. I do it on my blog and I do it on social media. Every once in a while we stop and consider the broader implications of that. What is my responsibility in regards to the issues happening in our world? Should I be saying something? Should I be keeping so silent out of respect that nothing trivial is shared from my platforms? I know within my heart that if I were to stop and wait until all the tragedies in the world were to dissipate, I would be silent forever. But if I were to speak to every one of them, my voice would turn into that of a news agency. That is not who I am. So where do I fit? What am I responsible for? How do I make my beautiful friends and readers who are passionate and hurting feel heard and understood when I am standing silent and carrying on?
I remember when Peter MacKay, a Canadian politician, was being criticized in the news for sending out an internal memo on Mother’s Day praising women for all the work they do behind the scenes at home and a separate internal memo on Father’s Day praising men for how they are shaping the minds of the younger generation. I saw some articles defending MacKay. They included the argument that these were internal memos, not meant to be viewed side by side, and taken separately they were both true and complementary. Unfortunately, those arguments missed the point which is that this male politician has a platform. He must constantly expect people to scrutinize his actions and his words and above all else, he needs to (but fails to) recognize his powerful position in changing the system to get more women in the positions of power.
That seems beside the point, but it isn’t. It is a good example of what my responsibility is as a blogger. All persons of privilege (be it white or male or a politician or a CEO or above the poverty line or a blogger or whatever) need to be very conscious of what they say and how they say it because they do have the ability, and the platform, to change things. In both the ways I speak and the ways I am silent, I need to be responsible for how I am shaping our world.
I will and should focus on my frame of reference (which today is primarily issues on feminism and motherhood) because that is the story that I understand well enough to tell. But I am committed to opening my eyes to other frames of references that I have yet to experience. I want to see and share the stories of my black friends as they process what is happening in Ferguson. I want to pray with my Jewish friends as they are invested in the conflict that Israel is in the middle of and I want to hear the hearts of my Muslim friends as they stand with Palestine. I refuse to let the fear of Ebola overtake me as I understand that this is not about me, but about bad living conditions in places of the world that are not as privileged as the one where I happened to be born. And I refuse to let people be defined by and reduced to one side of a debate or an issue.
I will not write something based on naïve emotions that might only spread misinformation. I do truly believe that I can be responsible in my silence, or my avoidance of certain issues. I don’t always feel like I am the right person to add to a conversation that might be very far removed from my frame of reference. I want to leave room for people who might have a story that carries a lot more impact. Sometimes, I want to keep my little slice of Google search rankings clear so that someone who has a more powerful story than I do can share it and be seen more easily. In doing this, I am trying to show respect to a situation that I know is grave and very important to some people.
Peady says
Thank you for writing this.
I can say with 100% certainty that I stand in solidarity with *you* and these feelings you are experiencing because I am experiencing them, too.
It is a very crazy, mixed-up world of late and I am finding myself at an utter loss for words to console anyone or make any sense of the news.
I pray for peace.
I hope this post receives many comments. I am fairly certain there are many people feeling the same way – even if they choose not to express those feelings – in the face of so much sadness.
Peady recently posted..I Find it Hard to Take
Jasbir @jasbeeray says
I feel and understand what you are saying. These year has been full of sadness, both from within and outside. It’s sadness, death, pain, disaster everywhere. Yet there is also joy and happiness but with a fear that it can be taken away.any instant.
Jasbir @jasbeeray recently posted..Lessons from your loved ones
Alison says
You know my stand on this (I think).
I too, have opinions about all these issues you mention. I also have opinions about the very different poliltical workings in Malaysia, where I live, and how it’s impacting my future, my children’s future. I’m also invested in what happens in Australia, where my children will grow up.
Now, I choose to stay silent on my blog and social media platforms on those issues, because like you, I feel that there are more eloquent, knowledgeable voices who can contribute positively to those issues, and move the agenda. Although I did read somewhere that said, staying silent is just as bad as not doing anything, because one voice adds to the collective. So, what does one do? I do my part by sharing articles about what matters to me. I open my ears to listen to what other people have to say. And who knows, when the time comes, I may have the right platform to truly speak out loud.
Alison recently posted..Exactly Where I Need To Be
Laura O'Rourke says
I think my problem with the argument that staying silent is just as bad as not doing anything is that it ranks that one issue that we are being criticized for being silent about above all of the other world issues going on. I simply cannot take a stand against every injustice in the world right now. I just can’t. There are too many of them. And while they are all important, it doesn’t make me a bad person for not speaking about the issue that someone else thinks is MOST important.
Laura O’Rourke recently posted..My Rock
Alison says
Oh yes, I don’t mean YOU specifically on the issue of staying silent. And there are too many issues in the world, unfortunately, and we can’t be everything for everyone. I just meant on the issues that impact us directly and personally, that we can do some part, if not actually using our blogs/ social media as platforms.
Alison recently posted..Exactly Where I Need To Be
Laura O'Rourke says
And I wasn’t taking offence. :) I just don’t love that whole “if you’re not speaking up, you’re not doing anything” mentality.
Laura O’Rourke recently posted..My Rock
Elaine A. says
This is how I feel the majority of the time as well and you said it SO well, Laura. But lately, some of the issues are hitting more “at home” than I wish they could or do.
Tim and I also talk about a lot of this stuff “behind the scenes” so to speak, and I feel like my blog is not always the right platform for so many things in the news, etc. But again, here lately… ;)
Anyway, for the most part I can totally relate to what you are saying and I adore the fact that you are such a responsible and educated writer.
Laura O'Rourke says
I think when things hit close to home, that is exactly when you should make room for it on your online home. I think it is important to remember however that different things hit home for different people. There are issues going on in my city that I might feel very led to write about – but I don’t look down on people for continuing to focus on, say, Gaza when I feel like there are more pressing issues close to (my) home. I think the point is that we can’t possibly comment on everything (and maybe we shouldn’t, because we are not aware enough to share an educated opinion) but that doesn’t mean that we do not recognize the importance of the issue.
Laura O’Rourke recently posted..My Rock