It is hard being in your twenties and hearing people say that you don’t really “come into yourself” until you’re thirty and beyond. That’s especially hard to hear when you got yourself married and three kids before the big 3-0 hit – like maybe I couldn’t possibly know that I want to be married or have kids yet… Like, perhaps I’m not old enough to make deliberate family-building decisions in my twenties. I mean, of course I don’t believe this, but when you hear people lauding their thirties as the time when everything became clear to them, I can’t help but wonder what all these major life choices I made in my twenties will amount to.
I’m not yet thirty, so I can’t really speak with any authority re: finding one’s self in their thirties, but at 29, I do feel like I’m starting to see glimpses of this mid-life clarity that I’ve heard women allude to. Of course, this isn’t leading me to question my choice of husband or wonder whether I really want to be a mom. Instead, it feels like the individual that I am is coming into focus a little more. It is comforting to know that I am unlikely to wake up in February of 2016 regretting the previous 30 years of decisions. At the same time, it is exciting to be discovering myself even amidst this season of life where it is so easy to lose oneself in the diapers and sleepless nights and kindergarten registrations and nightly home-cooked meals.
I never thought I had a “style”. Ever. I suppose thinking back there were a few things that I grabbed on to and claimed as my own – in middle school I started layering necklaces and bracelets and would wear the biggest, loudest earrings I could find. While my neck is no longer adorned with six necklaces at a time, I can’t leave the house without one on. And yes, I still think bigger is better when it comes to earrings. I also gravitated towards Converse Chuck Taylor All Star shoes in high school. Could I really claim that style as my own, or was it an image I was trying to aspire to? Who cares?! Now, I’m a 29 year old woman who doesn’t love buying shoes but loves having a pair of Converse and a pair of running sneakers at the front door at all times. Regardless of how it started, that’s my style now, and I’m claiming it, proudly.
I’m over trying to be stylish. I’m over trying to achieve a certain look that I see in other people. I just have such a hard time buying things for myself that I can’t maintain any sort of style apart from jeans and a plain tee. If that’s my style, so be it. Man. I like being okay with me. I like discovering the me that I’m okay with. Someday, when the kids are a little older and my weight doesn’t fluctuate so much between being pregnant and being a runner, I’ll find the time and the money to flesh out the things I like and some sort of style – one that makes room for Converse and big earrings – will emerge.
But for now? It is hard to spend enough to bring that image of myself into reality.
I was recently issued a challenge by RetailMeNot.ca to see how much I could save using their site. I’m all for saving. But this kind of saving isn’t the avoid-buying-something-for-yourself-at-all-costs kind of saving. This is the kind where you have to spend to save. I’m not good at that. Can I get an “Amen!” to Mom-Guilt? What did I want? What do we need? Shopping gives me anxiety.
And then I saw it. A bag. Not just any bag: a purse. And not just any purse: a designer purse. I fell in love. I’m actually pretty good at not falling in love with things that are ridiculously expensive. I learned long ago to guard my heart from things that I want but know I can’t have. But it is oh-so-much harder when this something that you would normally never let your heart fall for is actually on sale. 57% off, to be exact. Compared to $278, that $119 looks pretty measly in comparison. Except that, you know, $119 isn’t actually measly and a Kate Spade bag isn’t exactly a need.
Maybe it is because I’m nearing my thirties and coming into myself, or whatever. Maybe it is because I’m a blogger and I was supposed to write about this experience. Whatever the reason, I started thinking about why I liked this bag. Was I trying to impress anyone? No. Quite honestly, I’m the type of person who doesn’t want to flaunt a designer purse around. I’ll be apologizing for it constantly: “But I got it on sale! And I had a gift card!” So why did I want it? Was I trying to be someone that I’m not? Maybe – just maybe – this non-stylish girl actually has a style.
We joke around a lot at my house about how often I dress the baby in stripes. Often, both he and I are wearing stripes. On good days, I have everyone in the family wearing a striped shirt. Even my iPhone is striped (in a Kate Spade case for that matter). Like the constant presence of necklaces, the big earrings, and the canvas sneaks, stripes seems to be something I gravitate towards. Dare I say, it’s my style?
I got the purse. It is in the mail. I’m looking forward to having this accessory that I really like for no other reason than I just do. This is me, people. Stripes. Black Chucks. Big earrings. Ponytails. Nails done. And all it took was a coupon site, a challenge, and a 57% off purse to realize that it is okay for me to embrace this look I seem to have created for myself.
About that challenge? I was told to spend $250 and see how much I could save through RetailMeNot.ca. I saved $159 on the purse and had plenty left over to get my husband a pretty cool Father’s Day gift (shhh). Not only did RetailMeNot.ca alert me to the sale at Kate Spade and the online store where I purchased the gifts for Father’s Day, but it also provided me with a coupon code for the latter as well. At this second retailer, I got two items for 60% off for a total savings of $45 plus I saved an additional 20% on the whole order with a coupon code which saved me an additional $8.59. Between both purchases, I spent a total of $208.94 while saving $212.59 and all I got out of it was a designer purse and a Father’s Day gift.
RetailMeNot.ca wants to give a $100 Visa gift card to one of my Canadian readers to help you save too! To win, just fill out the giveaway app below. Giveaway closes on Monday, June 8th.
RetailMeNot.ca provided me with a $250 gift card to complete their challenge. I found out about the Kate Spade sale and the sale & coupon code from Think Geek through RetailMeNot.ca. The experience written about is entirely my own.
I love retailmenot.ca! Oftentimes, I like to combine that site’s deals with my ebates to get a little bit more back in my pocket.
As for the style, I’m like you–I’m not sure I necessarily have a style; Earlier in the year I decided to listen to myself and not necessarily to what other’s say about something or whether it’s popular or not. It’s a challenge sometimes, but it’s great getting to know oneself a bit better.
The stripes are awesome (and I LOVE that bag!) :)
How have I NOT heard about this site?!
I used to be horrible for online shopping (re: living with my parents or someone’s parents and not paying rent, making a real income etc) and then I had to cut myself off cold-turkey when we had to pay for a wedding and now a mortgage and bills. I DID do an online-shopping spree this weekend however because MEMORIAL SAY SALES!! They are honoured online for Canadian shoppers too!
I’m pretty excited/scared to learn about this website!
I’m also seriously considering getting Twitter just for your contests :p
Ha! Twitter is AWESOME – but there are definitely people who only have Twitter for the contests. :)
Anytime you checkout somewhere and see a “coupon code” spot, Google Store Name Coupon Code and undoubtedly, RetailMeNot will show up. :)
Laura O’Rourke recently posted..The Style Is In The Bag
I don’t know about that question but I love the purse!!
I have to check out this site! I love my price matching app and submitting my receipts to Checkout 51 and Zweet. Definitely adding retailmenot.com to my list!
I share your love of stripes Laura! I can totally related to spending less on myself and my style since buying a house and having a child. BUT, I’ve recently started to realize how looking good and feeling good go together, at least for me. It doesn’t mean spending a ton of money on clothes or haircuts, but I realize that it’s important to do little things for myself: getting my hair cut regularly, picking up a new shirt or pair of shoes here and there, etc. (I’m lucky that my in-laws live near an incredible Frenchy’s, so I’ve been able to find some awesome deals that way!). Anyway, my point is that just like you take care of your family, you have to take care of yourself, so guilt about your awesome new purse!
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Haha, that was supposed to be NO guilt about your awesome new purse!!
Love the bag!
Beautiful bag! I love Kate Spade- well, her outlet stores!
Checking out retailmenot now!
I have had some really good finds in store discount bins. Once I found candy cane hot chocolate for a 1.00 a tin reg 4.99.
I’d like to win. I wasn’t sure this website was legit but you seem to have had a positive experience!
Mom guilt is real. I love shopping but these days it is mostly for things for the boys – they are like weeds.
I love the bag! It is awesome and CI would be counting the days until it arrives. My style is changing a bit – I used to be devoted to Docs, but had to give them up when I was carrying babies becasue I was tripping over the high soles. Now they don’t feel like me anymore. I have been eyeing some Chucks, though. Maybe one day.
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I try to save money where I can but it is usually only a few dollars. I am going to have to pay more attention to retailmenot and hopefully save lots of money!
I think we have it all wrong when it comes to life stages now. We should be having kids in our 20’s and solidify-ing our careers in our 30’s, not the other way around. Not only would the biology work better, we’d have a lot more energy for running after kids!
I have never heard of retailmenot – thanks for alerting me!
Your purse is adorable! Congratulations on doing something for you – No mama guilt! I have never used this site so I will have to take a look… thanks Laura!
Yes! The shopping channel gave out $50 promo codes and I found shoes on clearance, so I paid next to nothing!
sadly I dont have a story yet. But hopefully one day.
YES!! Many times. I love to coupon, price match and save $. Big family here of 5 and feeding all boys OMG!!! Everything lil thing help!
um. That bag is super adorable! For my hubby’s birthday in February the girls and I got him a sweater worth $230 for 24$! I always love a good deal (I’m dutch). ;)
Yes I do
Outlet shopping in Florida (when the dollar was better!)
Love the bag! I’m a big stripes lover too :)
Just last week, I went to Niagara Falls as my daughter had a dance competiiton. Since I had some time between her dances, I went to the Coach Outlet store. It seems it was my lucky day. I was greeeted with a 50% off coupon and told that on top on that coupon, everything in the clearance section was an additional 40% on top of the 50%. Let’s just say it was a great day!
nothing big- i use coupon codes as much as possible
couponing!
I use coupon codes and have saved amazing amounts
I love thrift store shopping and visiting secondhand stores, so usually end up saving a lot!
I had wanted a smart tv really bad after getting to use one were my friends live . Was shopping one day and they had their smart tv’s on for 705 off to get rid of the last year models. So you bet I grabbed one.
My desk I’m using now was in rough shape at an antique shop and I got it for $10…My husband refurbished it and its a perfect corner size for where I wanted it…Solid Maple too…score!
Just the other day I got a beautiful shirt at old navy in clearance for .47 cents!! yes, cents!!
No a specific story – but I love it when I can use multiple coupons to save!
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I have tons of stories about saving a bunch! I love when you can get items on sale, plus use a coupon code, plus get free shipping…and RetailMeNot has helped me accomplish this many times.
Not sure if my comment went throught so I’m posting it one more time.
I have tons of stories about saving a bunch! I love when you can get items on sale, plus use a coupon code, plus get free shipping…and RetailMeNot has helped me accomplish this many times.
Just saved a bunch this week at Gateway…bananas for .27/lb, and we freeze them…so we basically have enough bananas to get us through the month or two of fruit smoothies for about $10 ;)
I love saving money and bargain hunting! My best deal lately was probably a Jones New York dress that retailed for over $100 that I got for about $17!
No I don’t have one yet!
I was shopping at the brick for a TV, sofa and loveseat and for each item I asked if they could go lower for each one and I got $600 off what would have been the retail price. Sometimes you just gotta ask!
I have saved a bunch many times in store and online. I love to have a discount code and free shipping when shopping online. The best time was when I went to old Navy and they had men’s t-shirts for $1.
I am a saver..I like to search out deals and specials to try to save as much money as I can for things that I cannot get a deal on. :)
I love a good deal and have managed on more than once have saved more than I paid, to the tune of several hundred dollars. Helps when buying for four kids.
I price match, use my Flipp app. Old navy gives out Super cash and one year we spent about $600 for the whole families clothes and we received $80 in supercash…Great feeling walking out with $80 worth of clothes!
I like to combine sales and use coupons to get a great deal.
I use coupons and get great deals
Bahahah! Every time I go to the Coach outlet (bear with me), I use a coupon on TOP of the cheapo prices, but LAST time I went, the young lady that assisted me said, ‘Congratulations, Ms. Lima. You saved more than you spent today’.
Awesome-sauce.
I don’t have one particular story, but every time I shop at Chapters Indigo online, I am saving atleast 40%. And I do check RetailMeNot first for any extra coupons/deals. But Chapters in-store the prices are MUCH higher, usually the cover price, so I never buy my books in-store anymore. Chapters Online is great savings for books!
I am always trying to save a bunch.
Recently when I did my dog licence online I received a $25 pet store gift card.
Later I saw someone selling the same gift card($40) for half the price so I scooped it up.
I ended up getting the extra large bag of food which is usually $65 and some poop bags for free.
The dog food was ripped a tad so they gave me another 25% off..Hurray.
I actually prefer going to Dixie Mall instead of the other other malls in the city. I keep a note of what items I like/seen at their regular stores then head over to Dixie Mall and I always leave with plenty of shopping bags :) Plenty of jeans, dresses, tops and maybe a few purses
I bought my daughters summer outfits last year from Old Navy. I waited until there was a sale, bought enough to get free shipping and used a coupon code. I was so pleased with myself and they looked so cute.
I love PC points I usually save them til the holidays this year I got $150 worth of groceries free
I love using my air miles cash or pic points at Christmas to save money! Always shopping the clearance racks too
Coupons are always great for helping to save money.
I am always looking for good deals and sales, one time i came home from grocery shopping and made money instead of spending it! i love coupons and deals!
I save a bunch on a regular basis! With coupons, coupon codes and pairing those with sales, saving can be easy!
I combine sale items with coupons to save big! Cheers
i am a saver, I shop the sales using coupons, price matching and then will often make pc points on my purchases and follow it up with checkout 51 :) It takes a lot of planning but totally worth it :)
Yes, once at London Drugs I got 10 bottles of shampoo just for the tax by stacking coupons.
I other day I bought a big bag of two different items and both were mispriced so I got them for free.
Price Matching and using coupons always helps me get the best deal possible
yes whenever i can for clothing, bedding shoes etc…
I had a lot of coupons one time for lotion and used them all on one grocery trip!
I don’t recall the specifics but I usually save a bunch from The body shop. They always have coupon codes for good deals like buy 3 get 3 free!
I saved up my pc points and spent only $10 for christmas food!
I used coupons during a sale and saved over half the amount without using them
My biggest save was a pair of boots from Bebe. They were over five hundred and i got them on sale for two hundred with tax.
My best shop was when I saved over 80% on my groceries by using coupons and price matching. My family was amazed!
My most recent online shopping I saved! I had a 20% off code for Old Navy, and everything I purchased was on sale. My total before taxes/coupon was $50.50 which allowed me to get free shipping. My total for the Old navy ended up being just under $43 (2 pairs of pants, a pair of shorts and 2 shirts for my son). I also bought a scooter for my son from ToysRUs. It was 50% off plus also came with $10 off shipping. Shipping worked out to be 77¢ and in total I paid under $35 for a brand new scooter!
I love saving when I grocery shop! It’s my own little personal challenge!
I am always trying to save as much as possible. While it may not be a “bunch” at one time, all the little savings add up/
Sometimes you just have to embrace your girly-ness and get the purse. I love RetailmeNot. I’ve saved tons with them over the years.
Recent purchase, I price matched a Best Buy Sale at Staples (to get air miles). Saved $85, also had a $100 gift certificate, and earned air miles. I was pretty proud of myself! I
My latest save was on dove body shampoo.
Some shoppers put some items on sale down to $2 and when I find this on the student discount day. It comes out to almost free.
When renovating our condo I scoured websites to find the best deals, I estimate that we saved ~ 50% on materials
I had a gift card for Shutterfly the other day and I searched for different codes for free shipping and so much off.And I save over $100 using codes.
I always put money aside for the Summer every month to save for State Fair-YET I put a WHOLE BUNCH away when it comes to an Anime Convention! :)
I saved a bunch when I shopped the clearance sale at Target when it was liquidating.
Once got a designer handbag for $20 when it was well over $500 – brand new at the Goodwill
I have no super saving stories, but I am going to start using the apps more
One time I was able to do a price match on groceries, then used a coupons to bring it down further, then got cash back using a few cash back apps effectively getting paid to shop. On top of that I collected points using my rewards credit card. it was a good shopping day.
Nope, no story at all!
mostly online shopping is where i can save ..i love using discount codes to help save tons of money on my purchases
I have saved money by entering coupon codes when shopping for clothes – always check retailmenot when about to shop online!
I went shopping at Guess and bought a pair of $130 jeans for $0 :) They were on for half price and then they had a “receive an additonal 50% off any reduced items”. I also had a credit on my Guess points card. So fab new jeans for nothing!
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Awesome giveaway!! I’d love to win. Is it Kate Spade? I LOVE her handbags! For the question, I remember there was a huge clearance at TJ Maxx when I went to North Carolina with my mom, we ended up spending less then $100 for buying at least 30+ clothes!
We were shopping for washer and dryer. We have talked between each other that we also need to buy a microwave. The sales person overheard us and added a microwave to our purchase for free
I save a bunch on a weekly basis when purchasing groceries using price match, coupons and flyers
I have saved money lots of times but the one I remember the most is my ricki’s shopping trip last year. They had an extra 50% off their clearance items (that was 50% off). I got tons of shirts, blouses, sweaters and pants for only 100.00. It was a great deal!
We saved up a bunch of optimum points and used them to get a ds. that felt like a pretty excellent save!
I don’t have any good story to share yet.
I’m not sure this should count, but a year or two ago an online retailer was new to the scene and not particularly good with making sure their promotions didn’t intertwine. with the combination of online coupons, online cashback, referrals, etc, I got several things free or extremely discounted for a few months before the company put an end to it. I was among hundreds of people who combined the promotions. It was fun and I guess set my deal hunting into high gear after that.
I bought some designer jeans at a rummage sale this weekend for $1!