This is the worst night ever.
My baby is crying. He is clean. He is fed. He is safe. But he is still screaming.
The hardest part of both parenthood and motherhood (don’t know the difference? There is one, believe me) is this sleep thing.
Not sleeping starts during pregnancy. It is laughable how much pregnant women are told to get all the sleep they can before the baby comes when we all know the sore back, achy hips, and small bladder make that pretty darn near impossible. If it were possible? Be real – sleep isn’t like a savings account. You can’t store it away for later.
Right from the get-go, I knew I wanted to co-sleep. It was important to me that my baby stay close and be at arms reach. I knew that it facilitated breastfeeding and bonding and helped decrease the risk of SIDS. I had originally planned to keep Cameron in my room for the first three months, but I then I read that it was actually better to keep the baby close for the first six months.
Cameron has always been a pretty good sleeper. I was never concerned about sleep training because I was sure that eventually Cam would just start sleeping through the night on his own. He went to bed at a good time, he only woke up to eat, and the time between feedings got longer and longer apart.
But from about four months on, Cameron’s sleep has not been progressing. He has been going to bed later and later. He has been waking up often. He has been needing me in order to fall and stay asleep.
Finally, the reality sunk in. My son needs to learn how to self soothe and now is the time.
So, here I sit. I read The Sleep Sense Program and I am implementing those tactics. It is way too cry it out for me, but I don’t know what else to do. I want this to work. I really do. But. This. Sucks.
Good luck Laura. Frequant waking at that age is very normal. They are teething, developing skills at a rapid pace and figuring out the world, I don't believe waking has to be about hunger to be a genuine need. If the book you are ready gets good results then enjoy your long lost sleep :) If not I would recommend the Baby Sleep Book by Sears and Sears… very gentle approach. Loving your blog as always and wishing you some sleep and sanity :)
Sorry about spelling.. baby on lap :P
They do need to learn sometime that the world doesn't revolve around them! A few nights of misery makes Mommy AND baby much happier in the long run, you'll be able to kiss him goodnight, lay him down and not spend forever trying to sooth him to sleep, and he won't feel upset and abandoned after he learns to self-soothe. Eli is just over a year now, and I love just tucking him into bed, seeing him smile sleepily up at me and then close the door and not hear a peep from him until morning!
Hey Emily and Laura, Emily we may have to agree to disagree. I am not trying to be a pain by offering a different opinion, but this is a debate I hear often and it is often very one sided. Sometimes parents who don't feel comfortable doing controlled crying or cio need to hear that they can respond to their baby's needs and arn't spoiling them or setting them up to think the world revolves around them. We allow children to walk, and talk, eat and toilet in their own time often profiently after the age of one, but our expectations are very different when it comes to sleep. Responding to babies' cries for comfort and security allows them to develop a sense of agency. Some schools of though suggest that a baby who cries itself to sleep isn't learning to self soothe, rather it is learning not to cry for help. Anyway I will leave it there, I respect every mother's choice as her own, but do get saddened by the expectations our society puts on mothers to have babies sleeping through the night alone at a young age.
Thanks everyone for your suggestions and support. Jane, thank you especially. I'm going to write a post (soon) on the outcome, but the short story is that we decided it was not the right choice for us and Cameron. It is nice to know that according to some people, we aren't making the wrong choice.
It's all about what works for you and your baby. With Kayden the crying it out helped us (as hard as it was). She was about 10 months old when she stopped sleeping through the night. We soon discovered that it was because she had learned that it she woke up and cried we would get her and let her play to try to get her sleepy enough to go back to bed. My bad! haha It took us about 2 months to get her to sleep through the night again (making little progress every week). We would go into her room and check on her and give her a kiss and a little cuddle every now and then so that she wasn't crying on end for hours but nothing more..She didn't come out of the crib and it was bedtime haha. Becca was another story haha She still wakes up the odd night but when she does it's because she is either a)wet or b)napped later in the day making her less tiered for actual bedtime. So with becca every now and then she does just need to get up and walk around for about 30 mins until she is tiered enough to go back to bed. It is so funny how 2 siblings can be so different!
I hope Cam is letting you and Dan get some sleep and that he continues to work towards sleeping through the night :)