There is a lot to consider when starting a family. So many of the unknowns and the possibilities are exciting. Some are unnerving. Others are downright frightening. But mostly, the idea of starting a family and doing all sorts of family-things together is pretty darn wonderful.
But I have always been worried about one family-related thing in particular: Cake. I knew that as a Mom, I would be in charge of the birthday cakes. When I started dating, I took pride in being able to show my affection by baking my loved one a cake. But as time went on, and as each consecutive cake proved that I had absolutely no cake-baking abilities, I started to rely on specialty bakeries and Dairy Queen more often. When Dan and I were first married, I continued this tradition. I spent good money on gourmet cupcakes and supermarket delicacies.
But I knew things would have to change when I had children.
Unless you are one of those Moms who spend thousands of dollars catering a single birthday party, baking cake for your child’s birthday is just kind of expected of the Mom. And in the world of Pinterest and baking blogs and Martha Stewart, those cakes are expected to look perfect. I managed to do an okay job with Cameron’s first birthday. Thankfully, the Monster theme we chose lent itself to anything but perfection.
Well, we are once again into birthday season in this household. And now that I am a Mom and I proved myself at my son’s first birthday, I have taken on the designated role of birthday cake baker in my family. After spending copious amounts of hours on Pinterest and perusing cake recipes (tricking myself into believing that the instructions are actually as simple in execution as they appear on the screen), I bravely ventured into the unknown and asked my husband what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday.
After a few days of hemming and hawing, he finally came to me with his verdict.
I want a cake that you and Cameron make together. Just a simple boxed cake that you and Cameron pick out and bake, together.
But. … But. … But. …
What about an ice cream cake? What about a caramel banana cake? What about a Nutella swirl cheesecake cake? (What about any number of recipes that make my mouth water but that, I’m sure, will only cause me stress and anguish when I actually try to make it?)
Nope. Just a simple (boring?) cake mix from the grocery store.
So Cameron and I went to the grocery store. Together, we chose a mix (marble), an icing (milk chocolate), a package of decorating icing (red), and sprinkles (stars). And on Saturday, the day before my husband’s birthday, Cameron and I sat around the coffee table in the living room (yes – the LIVING ROOM!) with our box of cake, our mixing bowls, our egg carton, and our measuring cups. With my two big hands, his two little hands, and a lot of mess, Daddy’s cake started to take shape.
The cake turned out. It didn’t look like one of my Pinterest pictures, but it didn’t look completely unappetizing either. The cake itself hadn’t come out of the pan perfectly. The icing was uneven. The lettering wasn’t centred. The star sprinkles were likely covered in toddler slobber and were clustered in one small area where my son was determined to put them all.
But I won’t remember that part of the cake, and neither will my husband. We will remember the fun that filled our house as Cameron and I put the cake together. As he poured in the oil and counted out the eggs. As he took his baby spoon and “swirly, swirly, swirly”ed the chocolate batter in with the white batter. As he stood on a dining room chair in the kitchen and shoved handfull after handful of crunchy sprinkles into his mouth, pausing briefly to place a few on the cake.
And I will remember the proud look on both of my boys’ faces as I cut a piece and handed it to them.
Sometimes as the woman in the family, I try to be everything to every one. Wife and mother and employee are my designated roles. But sometimes, many times, I try to be more than that – entrepreneur, housewife, chef, photographer, nutritionist, event planner, and world class baker. I want to be perfection for my family. But in trying to do so, I come up short, like my pathetic attempts at baking cake often do, messy and crooked and crumbly. Sometimes it is just good to remember that even a simple, cheap, pre-mix can often create a better family experience than anything fancy ever could.
Previous Weeks
Great post Laura! I’m not a good cake baker either – mine always turn out dry. This year I made cupcakes using boxed cake and icing for my husband’s birthday. I was a little embarrassed by my lack of skills, but my husband and our friends raved about the cupcakes! I will definitely go the boxed route again! Your monster cake and cake pops look amazing by the way!
Amelia @ House Pretty recently posted..Finishing touches
I’m glad I’m not alone with this lack-of-a-skill. If your friends raved about the cupcakes, keep doing what you’re doing, but tell everyone it is a secret recipe! :D
PS – Cake pops take FOREVER to make!
Laura recently posted..Mess Mama!
Great post it made me smile.
Thanks Christopher!
Laura recently posted..Mess Mama!
While I love baking and come from a long line of bakers, I’ve learned over the last two years and nine months, the same lesson you’ve learned – to let go of perfection. We moms are expect too much of ourselves!
For the first year of the Mogrunt’s life, I swore he took my baking mojo. Things just didn’t turn out – things got burnt or were undercooked (there was the easter-dinner raspberry cheesecake that was easter-dinner raspberry pudding – it could have been served with a straw), I forgot ingredients, and I stressed about it to the point where it drove me nutty! How could this happen to me, of all people, the daughter, granddaughter and niece of amazing bakers? Me, the aunt who supplied the birthday cakes for my niece and nephews?
It wasn’t until the Mogrunt started baking with me that things started going better. We have fun together and he’s an excellent stirrer (if a little vigorous). I try to stick with the things I know these days, when it comes to baking; I use recipes I know practically by heart. Then I add a dash of love and don’t bother with that optional ingredient, Nuts.
Steph VW recently posted..Bedtime
Yuck! Nuts. That is a good call about keeping those out of recipes! They only very rarely make something better.
Laura recently posted..Mess Mama!
I so get this. I have never been Betty Crocker but it seems once you are a mom that’s something you are supposed to do..and Pinterest makes me feel inadequate as a human being LOL! But you are right sometimes it’s about the actual time and fun you have with your child…not if you can post it to a magazine. Love how it came out! :)
Natalie recently posted..Tuesday Thoughts
Every time someone pins something on Pinterest, I assume they are going to do each and every thing and I feel so inadequate. But I’m pretty sure it is just a giant unanswered to-do list for everyone else like it is for me too! :) I now try to approach it like a big recipe book. If I feel the urge to cook something or bake something or craft something, I’ll go there and browse my boards.
Laura recently posted..Mess Mama!
Hee hee! Love this post Laura. So…. who’s in charge of making your cake??
Latitia recently posted..perspective
Cold Stone. Cold Stone Creamery was in charge of making my cake and I could NOT have been happier about it! JUST what I wanted! :D
Laura recently posted..Mess Mama!
SO cute and fun! You did a great job on the monster cake and I love that your husband just wanted a plain old cake made by you and your son. Very sweet. And it turned out great!
Courtney recently posted..not a runner
Thanks! I can’t believe those monster cakes were almost a year ago. I am already feeling anxiety about needing to make a second birthday cake for my son in two weeks! AHHH!
Laura recently posted..Mess Mama!
I really, really, really wanted to make a cake for Donut’s 1st bday. I made a practice cake it and turned out ugly. I was also making cookies for the party as well as the decorations. I realized I needed to cut myself some slack so I just bought one instead. You did a great job though, Laura!
Rach (DonutsMama) recently posted..Life’s Lessons: I Need an Easy Button & A Tylenol
Yes! How freeing is it when we as Mamas realize we just need to cut ourselves some slack?! We cannot do everything and we definitely cannot do everything perfectly. But I think we keep needing to remind ourselves of this over and over and over.
Laura recently posted..Mess Mama!
I am the cake baker in this house, too. My husband is a phenomenal cook/grill master…but he lacks in the baking area. SO I usually end up baking my own cakes, too. A few years ago Josh wanted a Devils Food Cake for his birthday. I baked and baked and when it came time to ice it, the stupid thing crumbled to pieces. I was devastated. I think I even cried. But…he didn’t care. He ate the jumbled up pieces and we laugh about it now. Your family could care less what the cake looks like. Because you are AWESOME. :)
Courtney Kirkland recently posted..January’s Custom WordPress Designs
My husband is a great cook. But he experiments with it and NEVER follows a recipe. This is why he can’t bake at all. He only ever bakes once, at Christmas, and usually has lots of help from me and my mother. I do enjoy baking, but I put too much of myself into it, so if anything goes wrong, I take it so personally.
PS – You shouldn’t have to bake your own cakes! I love being able to have speciality cakes on my birthday – I don’t mind that they are bought and not hand made. Tastes so much better that way.
Laura recently posted..Mess Mama!