I’m coming back to reality after one week of a complete connection reevaluation. For me, “connecting” usually means plugging in. It means networking online. It means writing and reading and commenting. It meant none of those things this past week. I unplugged from the internet and engaged fully with my family.
As we drive home from New Brunswick to Nova Scotia, I feel the weight of my life fall back on me pound by pound. Christmas is such a sacred time when it is acceptable to unplug and unwind and forget the responsibilities for a few days. I needed that. I’ve been feeling over-extended all year. So I stayed offine, off the blog, off social media, off my email. Instead I visited, played board games, painted my nails, ate turkey and cookies and turkey and donuts and hot turkey sandwiches and cheese soup and turkey leftovers. I ignored my phone, barely woke up my tablet, and didn’t go near a computer. It was refreshing.
Now, as each tire rotation brings me close and closer to the life I lead and further and further away from the oasis that is my parent’s house, I need to remind myself to breathe. In and out. Closer and closer. Back to the world of deadlines and budgets and full calendars and not enough time. Back to parenting and discipline and exhaustion. Back to making time instead of having time. Breathe. Again.
The weight of the world: Balancing it one breath at a time.
My Dad texts me. “Do you know where the sugar doughnuts are?”. I know the answer. They are in my belly. I like small sugared doughnuts very much. I send him a doughnut emoji and a very satisfied smiley emoticon as reply.
I’m returning home to the dawn of a new year. 2014 can be anything I dream it to be. That’s the thing about new years and new calendars and new resolutions. There’s something magical about January 1st. While the sun rises and sets just like any other day, it somehow holds so much possibility for renewal. Maybe, just maybe, I can create a lighter world.
I got some really great running accessories for Christmas and I was reminded of how much running I haven’t been doing lately. Injuries provide great excuses. The body I envisioned having a couple of weeks before my half-marathon isn’t the body that is currently snuggled in sweat pants and a hoodie.
The weight of… me.
As I walk into my stale house, the stench of emptiness hits me and I am keenly aware of all that needs to be done to fill this home again. Those breaths I needed to take in the car return to normal because I can’t stop now, must shovel and get dinner ready and empty the garbage can. Must get the kids to bed. Must. And maybe it isn’t such a burden. Maybe this is just part of life.
I log on. Connect again – the online kind. Say hi to my friends, tweet a picture, check notifications in those five minutes between dinner and pyjama time. “You’re beautiful,” I tell a friend. “You’ll get through this,” I tell another.
All of a sudden, I’m excited about the new year again. I’m ready to take on the challenges and the changes. I’m ready for what more will be added on.
If you’re feeling the same way I am about certain weighty matters, I will be hosting a DietBet in January to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society of Canada through Team in Training. I am currently just waiting for it to be set up. If you would like to join and work towards losing 4% of your body weight over the course of a month starting in January, leave me your email address and I will send you an email when you can officially sign up. (Email list will be used for nothing else but this).
[contact-form subject=’DietBet Email List’][contact-field label=’Email’ type=’email’ required=’1’/][/contact-form]
It’s hard to hit the ground running after the holidays – I always have a difficult time getting back to life. But I also crave order and routine and love to start off on a new foot in the new year, so I quickly push myself to get back in gear. Your holidays sound like they were lovely.
Andrea recently posted..Merry Christmas, Darlings
I can’t wait to hug you in ONE WEEK! I hope you can get to running again before then…if not, I think you’ll still finish the race and have fun. Selfishly, I’m glad your back, but I’m also glad you enjoyed your break.
Greta recently posted..My Fitness Goals for 2014 #Mamavation
Beautiful, Laura.
You describe that feeling of “omg I don’t know if I can handle real life after the holidays” and then realizing that yes, it’s not that bad – perfectly (is that a sentence? I hope you know what I mean :) ).
Also – it does get better, I promise.
Happy New Year to you and your family! xox
Kerstin @ Auer Life recently posted..My Favourite Things 2013
I don’t even know what “real life” is any more. Our lives have been in such disarray for so long with a baby on the way, moving, unpacking, settling in, the holidays, etc. I kinda can’t wait until March. (: But these are the days I’ll remember.
Wishing you and your family the very best in 2014!
Tonya recently posted..Dear Baby Girl
I really connected to this post; I found myself anticipating what you would say based on how I’m feeling. And I think you are right – it’s not all such a burden, this engaging in the duties that life demands. :-)
Happy new year!
Lady Jennie recently posted..Glazed Carrots
I am so happy you took this break. I know it was needed. We all need time to just “BE”, especially offline. That pic of you and your boys is so sweet. Happy New Year, my friend.
I have dropped many of my blogging “obligations” and with no (or little) guilt. I just can’t do it all. And while I want to remain connected in that way, there are other things that are more important (like my sanity). It’s okay to scale it back just a little. :)
And 4%, huh? I can do that. I need to do that!
Robin @ Farewell, Stranger recently posted..Tea and Quiet
I love new beginnings. I asked Cady the other day if she was ready for New Year’s Eve. “Nope. I don’t like to say goodbye.” I don’t think I’ve ever thought of it that way until she said that.
Jennifer recently posted..Easy Weeknight Dinner – Four Cheese Bacon Chicken Pizza
yes, I know all about the magic of january 1st. I feel it every year. One of my favorite things is a beginning, a fresh start. Feeling it right now….. cheers to you and us and this 2014!
I hear you, I have been feeling this weight all week. Thanks for putting it into words so well.
Christopher D Drew recently posted..What Your New Year’s Resolution Really Mean
I totally cracked up over the sugar doughnuts. :)
DragonLady recently posted..Happy 2014
Laura, I felt like these could have been my words as well – but you’re right – 2014 can be anything we want it to be and we can be ready for whatever it is that will be added on – without feeling like extra weight. The perfeft change in perspective. Happy 2014.
It is nice to have a break from the world – both the online and regular day to day – every so often.
I love that 2014 is new and ready to be filled up with whatever we choose to fill it. :)
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..This Time Last Year