I was so thankful for all the help that was offered to me while I was pregnant with Cameron. Friends and family and people I didn’t even know sent boxes of baby clothes and letters of encouragement. Having a baby has the simultaneous effect of making one feel so frightened and alone and yet laden with a giant, world-altering responsibility. Watching a community form around me assured me so beautifully that everything would be perfect.
One day, when I was giant and pregnant, my Mom and my sister were helping me sort through some of the clothes that we had received. We sorted items by size and by what I would likely dress my baby in. All of a sudden, I stopped on one particular sleeper.
“This can go in the donate pile” I informed my family. “It has Pooh on it”.
Now, before I go on any further, pretend you didn’t just read that sentence. Pretend that you heard it. Without seeing it spelled, you would have likely assumed that I had said “It has poo on it”. My sister and mother were flabbergasted. First of all, they were kind of grossed out. Then, they wondered why I would ever want to donate something that clearly should be thrown out.
“No! Not poo!” I corrected them. “Winnie the Pooh!”
I probably sounded ungrateful. I probably sounded snobby. But the truth is, I just didn’t want my child to start his life surrounded by fictional characters associated with multimillion dollar corporations. That just isn’t cute.
Later on, after Cameron was born, I did a pretty good job sticking to my guns. Cameron wore nondescript clothing, not associated with any identifiable brand. At one point, my Mother-in-Law took my little family shopping and suggested she wanted to purchase a full-bodied Tigger costume for her grandson. Thinking I was being polite by refusing her, she insisted. Finally, I firmly told her that I would never put Cameron in that.
It isn’t just Winnie the Pooh characters that get my back up. It is Mickey. Buzz Lightyear. Yes, even Elmo. Characters who front corporations that are hoping to not only empty my wallet but also use my child, my perfectly innocent child, as a billboard. I was not willing to subjugate my son to that within minutes of his birth.
Although my resolve has loosened over the past year and a half, I was still firm. I would never purchase my son clothing that advertised a certain brand, no matter how popular that brand is with the tiniest generation. I did however support my husband in purchasing a Toy Story toddler chair for Cameron, but this was with the knowledge that there were no characterless options. And I did dress Cameron in a Cars outfit that my Mother-in-Law gifted Cameron because he pretty much looks cute in anything and, with a growing boy, we seem to need all the clothes we can get our hands on. But, despite those two exceptions in a year in a half, I think I was doing pretty well.
And then, Cameron started talking. He doesn’t talk very much and he doesn’t have many words, but he does say Elmo. (It sounds more like “AhOh”). When we turn on Netflix, Cameron asks for “AhOh”. If Sesame Street happens to come on television, Cameron happily proclaims “AhOh”. And if he sees the one Sesame Street counting book that is on his book shelf, Cameron brings it to us, sounds out the word “book” and then follows it up by “AhOh”.
So I did what any self-respecting mother who loves her son would do. I went out, and I bought my son an AhOh.
That’s right, Sesame Street. I am now your pawn. I went against my ethics. But I don’t regret it. Cameron loves AhOh. So I chose my son. I chose Elmo.
I love this! I suppose it could be worse than Elmo- it could be Barney. Gasp!
Barney! Cameron rarely sees Barney, so thankfully he isn’t one of Cameron’s first words. But Barney was an important lovey in my house when I was growing up – my sister LOVED Barney and brought her Barney everywhere! (She might have to kill me now for mentioning this…)
He goes by “Melmo” here, but he is definitely a favorite!
The way kids talk is SO cute!!
I too managed to stick to my principles until Elmo came along and I bought him an Elmo shirt. The grandparents, however, bought a horrible, alphabet-singing Elmo which has entertained the mogrunt, but it wasn’t long before he abandoned it in favour of a cute stuffed raccoon (of no particular marketing campaign) and my old Steiff kitty… and he has no idea what a Steiff is, so it doesn’t matter at all. :)
Oooooh GRANDPARENTS. The only thing that makes any of that okay is that someday WE will be grandparents and we will gift our grandchildren with ridiculously annoying toys.
Come to think of it – my parents were staunchly against Barbies until my grandparents gave us each a doll at Christmas.
My sister totally didn’t realize the error of her ways when she gave Cameron a baby drum set for Christmas. Now she’s pregnant and I keep taunting her with the toys that I will get her baby as retribution. Seriously. She should have waited patiently to give the annoying gifts until she was a grandparent.
After the rather unfortunate incident I had this past summer with said grandparents and an inappropriate gift, I plan to be a very kind grandparent who asks what my grandchildren need and ensures that they are spoiled with attention and time rather than things.
(seriously? who buys furniture for a kid without the consent or knowledge of the parents?)
You being a nice grandparent will just ensure that the other set of grandparents will not abide by the rules at all. :) There always has to be one crazy set of in-laws! (And oh my gosh! Furniture? Without your permission!?!)
Thank you for articulating that so well! I tried to explain to my husband one day why I didn’t want Haydon wearing a Spiderman shirt and I just sounded plain nuts (along with the branding, and the corporation stuff, there’s the fact that Spiderman is simply not age-appropriate, but that’s a different issue all together…).
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You’re welcome. I’m so pleased to see I’m not alone on this. It is interesting how corporations are able to make themselves familiar to very young children through toys and clothing even before the child is old enough to watch television. They are creating life long consumers through the parents. And you’re right. If you think as a parent that watching Spiderman is not age-appropriate, then why is wearing it ok? That would likely get confusing for little brains.
We’re having the same ongoing issues. I’ll have to bookmark this post so I can refer back to it when I’m starting to question myself.
I’ve caved on Cars (because seeing my “princess” dressed in something other than pink is a welcome change) but I refuse to have anything Cinderella/Barbie/Dora/etc. A lot of my family does think I’m nuts and I know I appear ungrateful, but I don’t want my child to get caught up in the commercialism of, well, life yet.
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I have learned that there is always some room for some caving, but it is important to stick to our beliefs too. It has nothing to do with being ungrateful, but instead about not wanting our children to be within the firm hold of products and commercialism just yet. Stay strong, Mama!
I never really gave that sort of thing much thought. We didn’t buy the animated character clothing or toys until Noah got a little bit older. When he discovered “Cars” last year, I, of course, bought him Cars. When you really sit and think about it though, what don’t you buy that can’t be considered commercialism? Any toy, any article of clothing…it’s all contributing to a brand, whether the name of that brand is plastered across the front of a shirt or not. Buy a solid white t-shirt from Baby Gap? Now you’re endorsing and contributing to Baby Gap whether you want to or not. Not getting preachy or calling you wrong by any means. But, we live in a commercialized society. I think it’s how we control that within our OWN families that matter the most. GREAT post!
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I’ve never been a name brand person. I don’t look for clothing that displays the brand front and centre (like a GAP sweater, for instance). Whenever I see something like this, I always figure the store should be paying me for advertising their brand like that! The last thing I want to do is pay to be an advertisement.
When it comes to children, and especially newborns, I feel like Disney and Sesame Street and whoever else caters to children, have it so easy! They appeal to parents somehow and the parents dress their babies in these characters. These babies grow up with these characters all around them – it then only has to be natural for them to become “fans” as they grow older. By getting a parent to dress a child from birth in these very distinctive characters, they are creating a nurturing life long consumers. It is for that reason I find this different than giving a child a nondescript clothing or toy – one that isn’t necessarily associated with any brand. This is how I am controlling the commercialized society within my family.
That being said, I think things change a little bit once children grow and start to create their own tastes. Cameron has favourite television shows. He shows a clear preference for Sesame Street, Backyardigans and Waybuloo (and a little preference for train shows like Thomas and Chuggington). There are other shows that Cameron doesn’t at all care about. I think if HE is going to make his preference from the array of allowable things we have granted him access too, then I am a little bit more inclined to indulge him. Buying him Elmo was affirming his desires. Putting him in Elmo clothing when he was one month old would have been allowing the Sesame Street brand to create his desires.
Anyway, that is the difference I see. Of course, not trying to judge ANY other parent! :)
I agree! I definitely understand what you are saying. We didn’t buy cartoon/animated t-shirts until Noah got older and discovered these shows on his own. For the longest time, I don’t really recall him owning any character shirts until he got to be about two. Most everything else was just a generic t-shirt or something with no affiliation. Children are most definitely influenced by things so simple. I can see how putting a child in a Winnie-the-Pooh t-shirt from the time he or she was born, would make them grow up assuming that they were supposed to like Pooh, just because that’s what they’ve seen. Really interesting thought. I guess I’d never looked at it that way, although subconsciously, I’ve been doing the same thing. LOL
Courtney @ The Mommy Matters recently posted..Should I Forget…
That Elmo sure does have a hypnotizing effect on kids! My little one is only 10 months and when we’re in the store and he sees an Elmo he just laughs and laughs. I’m not big on buying character clothing either. Actually I don’t think I’ve bought any.
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What is it about Elmo? I wonder if it is the red? Or the cute and cuddly aspect? Or maybe that Sesame Street has created a little Elmo empire in Elmo’s World. Regardless, kids love him!
Haha! I am exactly the same way about character clothes. Hate them. But now my daughter is 4, and there’s really no reasoning with her. I don’t buy them, but she gets grandma to.
I explained my reasoning to Courtney in another comment here that I think things are a little different once a child grows and is able to vocalize their own tastes. Although, I still firmly believe that it is important for parents to be very vigilant in protecting their children from such rampant commercialism. Thank heavens for grandma! ;)
love this post Laura! I was/am the exact same way. I uttered those very same words….”it has Pooh on it. Give it away”. We’re such snobs. ;)
We’ll see what happens now that our bean is starting to say words…
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Sweet! I am so glad I am not alone in the snobby-Pooh-hate!
Also, I can’t believe she is saying words now! How awesome!
Hey Laura! I think it’s great how much you consider what your child takes in via media. I thought of this artist’s blog: http://alisaburke.blogspot.com/2011/08/puff-paint-onesies.html and am now thinking about why so many knitters enjoy making things for babies. Perhaps an idea in moving away from multi-million dollar cartoon characters is to move towards art and creativity. Thanks for sharing, hope your plan continues strong!
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What a great idea. I wish I was either a) more artistically able or b) had the time to make some clothes for my son. I know there are so many mothers who love the calming nature of knitting. My grandmother taught me to knit as a child, but I haven’t picked the needles up in years. Someday I will try again! :)
Good on you to have a stand! And it’s not really going against your principles by getting one Elmo for your son. It’s not quite the same as wearing someone’s logo on your chest or butt (Juicy Couture anyone?). And I love that you said you choose your son. Yes, always. They come first.
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Thank you! Oh my gosh – my husband would kill me if I put my son in Juicy pants. – I know that wasn’t your implication, but that is definitely what I pictured when reading your comment and it made me giggle!
Gasp! They come first. He goes by “Melmo” here, but he is definitely a favorite!
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