I’m sentimental.
That’s the nice way of saying it. You could also call me cluttered; a pack-rat; hoarder. I have a hard time throwing things away. Even when I know that I am not using something and probably won’t for a while, the what-ifs mute any voice of reason.
But it is worth something.
It would be a waste to throw it out.
What if I need it later?
What if I miss it?
Stuff is just stuff, but somehow it holds onto so much meaning. A t-shirt from high school that I would probably only wear to bed now connects me to one of the happiest times of my life. A too-small hoodie from the year I worked at camp reminds me of the best summer of my life. Small kitchen appliances that have never been unboxed hint of impeccable homemaking. The last remaining wedding program. Those baby sleepers with holes in the toe. Four pregnancy tests that confirmed four babies – two full of joy realized, the other two full of promise lost.
Still, we just came from living in a cramped apartment. We held on to some unusable things because we knew they would become useful when we finally moved into a house and we got rid of some useful things because in that little apartment, sometimes all we wanted was a little less clutter.
Living in such tight quarters taught me how to purge. It also reminded me that I really don’t like doing so.
Some of the hardest things to get rid of are the kids’ artwork. Each scratch of a crayon or sweep of paint marks another creative and educational venture. As a creative person myself, I love learning more about my boys as they create and make and learn and master a new skill. Their pride at completion and the beauty that they have created is something I never want to let go of.
But I cannot possibly hold on to each colouring page and construction paper cutout. There is not enough storage in the world. Of course, I could take photos and do a lovely Pinterest-worthy photo collage of their work, but who has the time? So I put the art up on the fridge in all its glory and I wait. I wait for it to get pulled down by messy hands. I wait for it to get trampled on by passing feet. I wait for it to be splattered by rogue juice drops and onion droppings. I wait until there is nothing for me to do but toss it in the trash.
Sometimes I prioritize. My favourite art pieces go on the upper freezer, far away from grabby hands. Those ones stay longer; long enough to decide that they will stand the test of time.
When we moved from our apartment, two pieces of art were left on the fridge. One was a painting done by Cameron in purple, sparkly paint. The other was a finger painting in blues and greens. They were lovely. Abstract and beautiful.
Dan told me to snap a photo of them. We were in chucking mode as we lugged the last few things out of the apartment and into the back of the van with the cleaning supplies. Everything non-essential had to be eliminated.
I couldn’t toss them. I wanted these pieces of art. They have been on the fridge for a while and I was in love. Each page was filled with deliberate colour. These were works of art by my biggest boy. When we got to our new house, I was going to frame them and hang them. The colours would have popped in the boys’ newly painted bedroom. I carefully laid them in the back of the van.
As we parked in our new driveway after leaving our apartment for the last time, I started emptying the van. The trash bags went behind the fence, hidden until garbage day. The broom and the mop and the bucket full of cleaners went into the front entryway awaiting their new place in a new home. I pulled the last things out and put them away, officially making this new house ours by filling it with our stuff.
Finally I got to the two pieces of artwork laying at the bottom of the van floor, carefully spread out to avoid wrinkling… and completely covered in cleaning fluid. They were drenched and and ripped at the weak points.
They were unsalvageable.
I could have cried. I almost did. For every piece of art that I had discreetly disposed of, these were the special ones. These were the ones that I wanted to display proudly. These were the ones that I wanted to move from our old fridge to our new home. These were the ones I wanted my kids to be inspired by. These were the only ones left.
The walls in the boys’ room are bare. Our new fridge is bare. I wish I had kept more of their art. I wish I had brought it with me. I wish I had protected their masterpieces.
On my fridge: Just a garbage sorting list.
But this is a new home. This new home is full of possibilities. And this new fridge (and these new walls) will soon be filled with art once again. My kids aren’t done creating. Our family isn’t done creating. We’re just getting started.
I’m linking this post up with Elaine from The Miss Elaine-ous Life and Katie from Sluiter Nation for Old School Blogging where the prompt is to show your fridge. I tag anyone who wants to join in! Also linking up with Greta from GFunkified and Sarah from The Sunday Spill for this week’s #iPPP (iPhone Photo Phun).
Oh my heart! Thank goodness for more paint and more time to create. Since my girls are older, I’ve started taking pictures of most of their art and only holding onto a few of the originals each year. My heart breaks a little with each one that I toss but we would be buried alive if I kept them all. Can’t wait to see what gets honor on the fridge in your new home!
When we moved from Germany to Canada we had to get rid of LOTS of things, almost everything actually. There are a few special pieces I hold onto, stored away safely in a box in the basement. Our fridge, however, has had several makeovers in the last five years… And even though some of the artwork is very special, I have only kept very few pieces – I love seeing the kids and their work evolve, that’s something to cherish as well.
I’m very happy for you and your new home and even though the two treasures are lost, you are keeping the memory with your writing and there is room to create lots more!
Kerstin @ Auer Life recently posted..Counting Stars
I’m the same way. We haven’t reached that phase, but it’s coming. And I don’t know how I’m going to handle it. Funny thing is, since graduating from college–maybe even before that?–my mom has been sending me boxes of these types of things. My first thought is, “Why the hell do I want someone else’s keepsakes?” My second thought is, “Why the hell did she hold onto these for twenty years just to get rid of them?” She’s a strange creature.
Michael Lombardi recently posted..Dying In Your Sleep Isn’t As Much Fun When It Happens To You
That’s actually no longer my twitter handle. I don’t know how it knows that’s it, but I don’t seem to be able to change it. It’s @ImNotInfectious for anyone that cares.
Michael Lombardi recently posted..The Water Park
I used to have a plugin that lets you put in your Twitter handle. I have no idea where that went. It must still kind of be working and pulling old data but not showing up. Sorry. I’ll look into that sometime this week.
Laura O’Rourke recently posted..An Empty Fridge
Oh Laura, you are SO right, there is so much creating yet to do! I have several of the my boys favorite art work pieces (and even an award-winning one by Ben!) framed in their bedroom, making a little art wall. But the fridge definitely makes for an awesome display. I hope you’ll show us what it gets covered with in the future… :)
Elaine A. recently posted..By Searching
Oh, I got a little weepy reading this one. I KNOW they’ll make new, beautiful, inspiring things. But still… Moving is hard.
angela recently posted..Winding Down
I am so sorry that those special pieces didn’t make it to the new fridge. I completely know what you mean about having trouble letting things go – I am exactly the same way. ‘What if’ questions give me pause all the time – and that is usually the only thing I need to decide to hang on to things. Your new fridge is ready for new creations – I am certain they will be lovely.
Kim@Co-Pilot Mom recently posted..Slipping Away
I know, Laura. I love the artwork masterpieces too. Our fridge is so bare right now. I’m looking forward to filling it up again this fall. At our old house we used to have the fridge, a certain wall with clips in the den, AND a bulletin board in the kitchen. Lots of kid art. Lots. Now at the rental. We’re kinda starting over. I saved a bunch but it’s all packed away and in storage. I figured we could start over here. Sounds like that’s what you’re doing too. xx
I am not very sentimental about things. If I was, I would cry buckets for all the stuff I’ve had to throw out, the boys’ stuff that I lost somehow. But I do understand what you mean about certain items that you just have to hang on to.
I do love your perspective on starting something new, on creating new memories, and filing that fridge door.
Alison recently posted..Old School Blogging: The Fridge Edition aka ACK!
I take pictures of every piece of art that comes home from school. We display it for a time in the kitchen and then toss it. I think I’ll make collages of all the pictures eventually, but for now just knowing that I have them makes me less pack rat-ish for sure. Apartment living is certainly conducive to the purge life that way.
Mama Melch recently posted..And So It Ends…
I hate tossing artwork, so instead I photo it all (most of it) and make a photo book of it. Some we kept, like hand prints, but others went. Still I felt sad, even though I had my photos!
Carolyn Y recently posted..My Fridge
It is so very hard to know what to keep and what to throw out. With three kids there is a lot of “artwork”… some I keep, some I don’t. I have some very special pieces framed and hanging on the walls. I hope, your home will be filled with lots of artwork over the years. :)
Susi recently posted..A side trip to the beach {Wordless Wednesday}
Awww…you’ll fill them. I am actually much less sentimental than I thought I would be – I think I’ve maybe found the right balance and limit what I keep. But sometimes I keep something that seems totally silly – a page of notes of my oldest girl’s with something funny she wrote in the margins about a book she loves, a worksheet where I like the how neat my middle girl’s handwriting was. We just keep filling boxes and putting them in the attic – but I also throw away a lot.
Katie E recently posted..Last Days of Summer #iPPP
That is heartbreaking. I remember when I realized that Cady’s footprints from the hospital were accidentally thrown away. I still haven’t recovered from it, and I keep hoping that one day they’ll turn up tucked between the pages of some long forgotten book.
Jennifer recently posted..Organizing a Lunch Station for Easy Meal Prepration
That’s heartbreaking! Our fridge is completely full of birth announcements and magnets and coupons, but I tape the extra special artwork to the wall next to the kitchen. I know exactly how you must feel!
But. YES. Your fridge and lives will soon be full again, of new extra special things.
Greta recently posted..OMG COFFEE. #backtoschool #giveaway
I used to be so proud about not being sentimental about my kids’ things, their artwork, their outgrown toys. I trashed with abandon.
Then they grew older and I found myself holding onto doodles, little notes, a forgotten heart drawn in a notebook from when they first started learning to make hearts… and I realized how sentimental I really am.
Thank goodness that kids are prolific in creating.
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